My consolation prize for Lloyd’s day of fun was a little pocket stove on the clearance table at Eddie Bauer. It had everything going for it – cute, small, gadget-y, and most importantly: it involved fire. I was so excited to try it out! This thing could save our lives someday!
Now, I have to tell you that while I was taking the above photo, I was already planning my post and thinking how cool it would be to show you cooking with fire right in my kitchen. It’s safe to use in a tent*, so I assumed the kitchen would be alright. I was so excited to watch these mostly odorless*, smokeless* solid-fuel tablets bring a pint of water to a rolling boil in 8 minutes*, then watch it burn for the remaining 5 – 7 minutes*. Doesn’t that sound like a fun way to spend an evening?
* All part of the instructions.
Here’s what really happened. I took the things out of the box, and right after I snapped the photo, Lloyd yelled, “What is that smell? Is it cat poop**?” We checked the cat’s butts because – really – they’re ancient and it’s entirely possible that they leaked. No. It was the box that stunk. And the cubes. And I had to listen to Lloyd grumble and act like he was dying because of a tiny little bit of toxic chemical vapor. Sheesh! I hurried up and shook a cube out of it’s packet so I could take the photo. It broke.
** He didn’t really say ‘poop’.
It didn’t just break, it shattered and got stinky chemical dust all over the counter.
“Get it out! Get it out!” Lloyd was hollering from his computer chair, holding his nose.
I answered, “I’m trying to take a photo. Hold your horses!” *snap* (Doesn’t he know the importance of the photos?)
So I took it outside and lit it. It’s a very cool, tiny little stove. You can set up the side ‘arms’ at a 45 or 90 degree angle, depending on the size of your pan. I had it all set up at the 45, which was a mistake. After I snapped a bunch of shots, I moved the pan handle for a better photo (it’s all about the photo), and collapsed a side. You all should be very proud of me for resisting my first instinct to just reach over and fix it the burny hot metal. So I held the pot for the remaining nine minutes.
My pint never reached a boil.