A few weeks ago Lloyd announced that we would be attending a fundraiser for Governor Heineman here in Seward, and the actual governor would actually be attending. This threw me into all sorts of panics.
Me (after fuming for quite some time): “I do not want to be in a room full of people who know stuff about politics and world events and the real world while I stare at my feet. Someone will ask me something and I’ll say something stupid and embarrass myself.”
Lloyd: “Aw, you won’t embarrass me at all.”
Me: “You didn’t listen to a word I said. I am going to embarrass me.”
So, you can understand my anxiety. Especially since Lloyd suggested we should maybe change clothes before we went. What?!?! Were we going to some kind of ball?? I have two levels of dress: homeless person and homeless person in Target clothes. What I wear to school is what I wear to church. The nicest thing I ever have to wear is my newest shirt from Target.
Whatever. We zipped home, I changed into something less glue-speckled, then off to Concordia for the event.
I tried to do a little research so I’d have some phrases to say ala’ Melanie Griffith in Born Yesterday. I had actually visited a website about our Governor, so I knew things about his wife (Sally Ganem – former elementary school principal, extremely active in dozens of organizations), his son (Sam – graduate of Midland Lutheran College and recently married to Jessica), and his new puppy (Snickers – tiny, wicked cute). I also needed to know what the governor looked like.
As it turns out, we walked into a gathering of people that were standing around visiting in a very friendly manner. Lloyd shook hands with this nice-looking guy, and we stood around and talked for a while. As we walked away I quietly asked, “Um, was that him?” Turns out that it was.
I should have been tipped off by the flag pin and his conspicuous lack of a name tag. To be fair, I am really, really bad at identifying people. You never, ever want me as an eyewitness.
I could have done it if he’d been carrying Snickers.