Scary turkey

March 28, 2011


Inside, I am a 6-year-old child. When I’m spooked, no amount of rationalization can fix it. I know there are no monsters in the hallway, but late at night I still freak out crossing to the bathroom. It’s that lively imagination o’ mine. (I believe I’ve spoken before about the vampires that hang out by our compost pile.)

Slight change of subject: We’ve taken to choosing a large amount of one type of meat and cooking it to last all week long. Last week we made steaks/soup/stroganoff, this week: turkey.

Something you’ll need to know: Have you ever seen a breast-only turkey with all the limbs lopped off? From the top it looks like a turkey, but the bottom…… oh, the bottom……. with the open cavity……*jibblie*

On Sunday I did a rush thaw job and put the breast upside-down in a crock-pot full of brine (trying to save dishes) and stashed it in the downstairs fridge before we went to Lincoln. When we came home I got it out of the fridge, set in on the floor, closed the fridge, looked at it, then had a breakdown.

Lauren: “Lloooyyyyd! Come down here, please!” (I may have forgotten the please.)

Lloyd: “What for?”

Lauren: “I need you to carry something, please.”

He came downstairs.

Lauren: “I need you to carry that upstairs for me. I’ll tell you why later.”

Lloyd, distrustfully eying the crock pot: “Ooooookaaaayyyy…..” He picked it up. “It’s not heavy. Are you hurt?”

Lauren: “No. I’m freaked out.”

Lloyd: “Because of turkey germs?”

Lauren: “No.”

Lloyd: “Is it – (looking closer) is it because it looks like a face?”

Lauren (running up the stairs): AHHHHHHH!!!!!

Lloyd: “Cool! It totally looks like a drowning, screaming face!

Lauren (from three blocks away): AAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

About Lauren

Lauren Sommerer is a preschool teacher who likes to build prototypes, grow cats, cook things once, save money, reduce, reuse and recycle.

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8 Responses to “Scary turkey”

  1. Brad Said on:

    You didn’t post a picture of it? Not even the easter egg? Awww… I’m disappointed. I don’t think I’ve even been in the presence of a limbless breast of turkey, much less seen one upside-down in a pot full of water.


    • Lauren Said on:

      Once I realized what it looked like, I couldn’t look at it anymore, much less take a picture. *jibblie jibblie* Lloyd had to stand by the sink and mock me while I tried to drain off the brine while looking at the living room.


  2. Deborah Said on:

    It’s funny that Lloyd thought he had to carry it because it was too heavy. Lauren has bionic arms.


  3. Peggy Said on:

    That is one of my favorite meals! Hot turkey open faced sandwich!
    Despite it once being a face, did it taste as good as it looks?

    I’ve never brined a turkey before. Do you just let it soak in salted water for a while?


  4. Jill Said on:

    This has nothing to do with turkey. Sorry.

    Lauren, is it odd this made me think of you??


    • Lauren Said on:

      Yay! Best two minutes and forty-eight seconds of my day! I had forgotten all about Teeny Little Super Guy! And with his good advice, I am off to bed. G’night, all.


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