…forever in the garbage.
I caved on Sunday and bought the stupidest piece of junk I’ve ever seen.
In the past I have openly raged at the Colgate Wisp. I believe the first time I saw it was at Target and I was with Lloyd or Brad and stood in shock at this tiny disposable toothbrush that comes in a four-pack. Seriously? You can’t just use a toothpick or get a travel toothbrush?
Well, on Sunday after we went to the buffet, my teeth felt like they had grown fur. I dropped off Lloyd and then went to a drugstore to get a small travel toothbrush, but my purse is so tiny, I would never just keep it in there.
So, I stood in the toothbrush aisle and stared at the Wisps.
They mocked me with their tinyness: We’re cute, yes?
I stared some more.
Wisps: “We’re dispooooooooosable! We’ll be on the earth ten times as long as you will! Ha ha ha ha!”
I stared some more and started to seethe.
Wisps: “We’re each one-time use! Ha ha ha! Oh, the glorious, wasteful hedonism of it all!”
I grabbed the four-pack and said through clenched teeth, “That’s where you’re wrong. I will re-use each of you again and again until your bristles look like stalagmites melted by a nuclear bomb.”
Wisps: “NOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Nearby toothpaste: “Can bombs even melt rocks?”
Gretchen says
I seem to recall another similar purchase once upon a time…was it in a vending machine in a restroom perhaps? Sorry, I’m too lazy to search the archives.
Brad says
If I were you, I’d be less worried about using disposable toothbrushes, and more worried that I heard voices coming from hygiene products.
Beth says
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Kristi says
Use them to clean your teflon pans. That’ll show ’em.
Kris says
Quincy is standing over my shoulder as I read this, and she says that wisps have saved the day many times with her braces. Even a traveling toothbrush is more conspicuous (she says), the pointy thing at the end is helpful when you are packing a snack between your teeth and your brackets, and with a traveling toothbrush you need running water (not always handy). A package of those in a purse has been a lifesaver for her!
Quiana says
It comforts me that other people feel this way. Also hear inanimate objects threaten them with the consequences of wastefulness.
Mark says
Sis, next time, try Oral B Brush-Ups. They can’t help those with braces, but they are great for fresh-breath emergencies and much more likely to be biodegradable. They’re flat, they fit better into small spaces (like purses or even wallets), and they do a pretty good job of removing mouth fur.
Lauren says
Yes!!! I know the Brush-Ups, yet couldn’t find them!!! You are my kinda thinker, mister.