Happy Birthday, Lloyd! I was going to do something clever about your being 42 and try to incorporate the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy thing about the answer, but it just never happened. Instead, I made you a sweater.
Lloyd’s faculty has decided to have Ugly Christmas Sweater Day on Thursday, but Lloyd doesn’t have a Christmas sweater*. I thought about buying one, but that would be a waste of money. Plus, there is the inevitable ‘Taste’ dilemma – what one person finds ugly, someone else might find adorable, and someone might make a comment one way or the other, revealing themselves as having different Taste.
Hmmmm… what to do…..
I know! Two packs of battery-operated Christmas lights and some yarn outta ugly up a regular sweater right good! (Plus, it is an old, old sweater that used to be cool decades ago, but is firmly in the ‘Cosby Show’ category.)
I turned it inside out, put a piece of cardboard inside it so I wouldn’t accidentally sew the back to the front, and started making terrible, sloppy stitches along the string of lights, poking the bulbs through to the front.
After it was all finished, it was such a ruinous mess – I was disappointed that I didn’t just sew the lights on from the front. That would have been very Frankensteinian Ugly.
Lloyd tried it on, and it will work just fine. The battery packs fit in his pockets, and he has the choice of ‘steady’ or ‘twinkle’.
Good enough for who it’s for.
*Fun fact: Each time I’ve tried to type ‘sweater’, including that time, I’ve typed ‘sweather’ instead.