So, I’ve been trying to eat more fruits and vegetables, yes? Well, the people who are supplying Sam’s Club with strawberries are making it easy-peasy. Look at the size of these berries!
They’re huge – almost the size of small apples! And they smell great! And they are red all the way through! And they are so sweet! Mmmm…. I eat two for breakfast and two with dinner and I think I’ve practically fulfilled all my plant consumption for the day.
Wait, if I tell you how good they are, you will go buy them all and I won’t have anymore and I’ll grow to resent you and our friendship will end and I might have to hunt you down and take my strawberries from your fridge!!!……
Whoa. Sorry for the paranoid rant. Um, they might be using something unnatural on these strawberries.