Let me begin by saying that I am going to complain about my ancient cell phone, yet I have absolutely no intention of getting a new one. If this kind of complaining makes you want to bang your head against a wall, might I suggest a section behind a door or a painting where it will be less noticeable?
Back to the phone: I absolutely hate texting. It is marginally better than actually talking to people, which is difficult for me, but so mind-numbingly slow I can’t stand it. Anything clever that I want to say is not clever four minutes later after I’ve actually typed it. Grrrr. Plus there is all the squinting at the tiny print and furrowing of my unable-to-recover brow.
Deborah told me that texting would go faster if I used the auto-complete function (T9word) and it is faster, except that I never edit anything and end up sending texts that say ‘font let the mama act out of of the basement’.
We were talking about this and I was asked why I don’t use an apostrophe. “Why do you write dont and not don’t?” Well, because my ancient phone requires five keystrokes just to get to the apostrophe! Five keystrokes.
1) Get to function menu
2) Push 4 for symbols
3) Next page
4) Next page
5) 6 for ‘
Arrgh!! Why wouldn’t they put it on page 2? I can understand not page 1, but seriously – it’s behind the symbols for yen and the British pound? Is this a phone for Thoroughly Proper People?
TPP1: “I say, old chap, I would love to spot you a pound, but I cannot as I do not have anything but yen, which positively would not be proper. Cheers.”
TPP2: “Sorry about your apostrophe, old bean, but as the Queen says, ‘Many contractions doth a peasant make.'”
I will not trouble you further on this topic.