Why I can never have an office job.

March 24, 2013


Holy crikies. If there is one thing that long stretches of paperwork have taught me, it’s that I am not cut out for situations where there are long stretches of paperwork.

I don’t know how people who have office jobs do it. It’s my understanding that you are probably limited to what you can do at your desk. At work, I like to spread out, and usually on the floor with stuff surrounding me. (I know I’ve taken pictures of that but I can’t find them right now.) Plus there is all the hopping up and down to use the computer, and that takes a toll on my knees.

However annoying that may be, I am much more productive doing that kind of stuff at my actual workplace. If I’m at home or out and about, I have to have some sort of food or beverage handy at all times. I mean ALL TIMES. If there is not coffee handy, I’m up making coffee. I reward myself for infinitesimal amounts of progress. “Write for just two more minutes and then you can make apple pie!”

apple stuff

And the distractions, oh…. the distractions. The internet played its sweet siren song and Emme and I spent a fair amount of time watching the birds. (While I waited for more coffee to brew.) I should have cleaned the windowsill.

emme and birds

I took my papers to Lincoln and sat in Panera Bread nursing a coffee (of course) and writing, and was distracted by the young-ish mother being incredibly negative to her 16-year-old daughter and long-suffering husband. I thought about making a chart of all the times she said a negative thing. There was nothing going on in her life that she wasn’t complaining about or critical. I was working on my kids’ parent-teacher conference papers. Maybe I could have filled one out for her. “Needs to practice nice words.”

That’s the long, rambling story of my weekend. How was yours?

Oh! I forgot that the gala was Saturday night. It was nice, but long (so I got sleepy). And though it won’t make sense to some of you, Matt Haden, this repost is for you.

About Lauren

Lauren Sommerer is a preschool teacher who likes to build prototypes, grow cats, cook things once, save money, reduce, reuse and recycle.

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3 Responses to “Why I can never have an office job.”

  1. Peggy Said on:

    Can you share what some of the negative comments were? I want to make sure it wasn’t me.

    I had a very nice weekend…and now it’s been extended! Woo hoo!


    • Lauren Said on:

      Let’s see what my feeble memory can conjure up. It began with, “Ugh. Have you had this hot cocoa? It’s $2.99 a cup and it’s just a cup of hot water with some crappy hot chocolate mix like you’d have at home. Really, it’s just watery hot chocolate.”

      Then I tuned. I came back in for: “Ugh. Is that what you ordered? I didn’t think it would look like that.” (Took a bite.) “Oh! It’s hot! That is too hot. You are going to burn yourself. Be careful. It’s too hot.”

      There there was some advice-giving to the teenager about getting a job, along with much not-so-subtle berating about her prospects. The girl got up to go check the menu and the mom said in exasperation, “I don’t know what’s gotten into her.” The girl came back all cheerful with menu information -- she hadn’t stormed off, she genuinely wanted to check the menu.


  2. Brad Said on:

    Haha! I like the reward you offer yourself. Would that work with my school kids? “Work for two more minutes and you can make me an apple pie!” Maybe if I said it in an excited voice…


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