I will readily admit that I quite often speak like an idiot. I mess up words and have poor sentence structure. My thoughts ramble. When approaching me, just don’t make eye contact. (Then you won’t have to suffer through an awkward conversation.)
However.
HowEVER.
I live in a place where it is not at all uncommon for adults to say, “I seen him at Wal-Mart.” Under my breath I correct them ‘saw’. When children say it, I do correct them. They give me a blank stare. If I’m using the contraction for ‘have seen’ I really emphasize the ‘ve’. “I’ve seen those before.”
The other one that makes me crazy is the is/are mixup. Is is taking over, especially in contractions. Do you see that banner picture? It’s from a HuluPlus trailer for Bones. The announcer even spoke it that way. It’s not ‘There is only three episodes’, it’s ‘There ARE only three episodes’! Is is for one/singular. Are is for many/plural. I do goof this up myself, but then correct myself out loud.
As my tenuous grip on sanity starts to slip, I will be yelling these things in public. (Fortunately I will mangle the sentences and be unintelligible. “Just that crazy Mrs. Sommerer shouting again. She used to be so nice. There’s medicines she can take for that. I seen them in the Wal*mart.”)