Remember my villain scratch from Ralph? Well, after scooping the poops in the basement, I was carrying Emme back upstairs – holding her upside down so I could examine a bump on her chin – and Lloyd dropped something on the stairs. She launched herself off me, and now I have a giant red scratch and a couple of holes on my neck. I look forward to being interrogated by many, many children today.
Telling them I fought off a dragon is not an option.