Prolonged banana agony

January 3, 2019


I do not like bananas. I will eat a banana when it’s in that two-second window of ripeness, but only because it represents ‘Potassium’ to my brain. There is so much not to like about them, but mainly, it is the texture. Too wet. Too sticky. Too mushy. When I eat bananas I break off a chunk with my fingers because I can’t handle biting into their wet mushiness with my actual teeth. *jibblie*

Today we had bananas for both breakfast and lunch. I powered through the breakfast one, but lunch was ….different.

I sat right by Thomas. He peeled his half-banana from the stem end, not the cut end. I cringed, knowing it was squishing the flesh inside. Bleh. Next, he took a small bite out of the side like a maniac.

That would have been gross enough, but he took another, then another, then another. I realized with horror that he was eating his banana like an ear of corn. He mowed through one squishy ‘row’, then turned it and worked on the ‘next’ row. I averted my eyes but couldn’t ignore the sounds. He rotated it to finish off the ‘third’ row, then took the skinny, wet cobby center and ate it like a pickle spear.

Soooooooo much jibblie. So much.


About Lauren

Lauren Sommerer is a preschool teacher who likes to build prototypes, grow cats, cook things once, save money, reduce, reuse and recycle.

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3 Responses to “Prolonged banana agony”

  1. Brad Said on:

    Hahaha! Your descriptions are hilarious! I don’t think I have any food texture issues. It’s only ever about flavor for me. I think.


  2. Deborah Said on:

    I would have had to walk away. I almost couldn’t finish reading this.


  3. Kristi Said on:

    I have texture issues. I don’t like cottage cheese, applesauce, oatmeal, or grits. The mix of squishy solids with the liquid just don’t appeal to me.


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