Lloyd and Sam were supposed to write their biographies for a new book that their childhood church and school is putting together for an anniversary year. They took their sweet time about it, but finally got it done.
Sam didn’t know he was providing post fodder:
Sam Sommerer, widely considered the most handsome of Theresa and Ralph Sommerer’s sons, is an extraordinary teacher at St. John Lutheran School in Seward, Nebraska. Sam was suckered into moving to Nebraska which was a big mistake but “what are you going to do?” Nebraska isn’t that happy about it either. Sam attended Immanuel Lutheran School at Honey Creek, where he was forced to do all the heavy lifting because the rest of his classmates were runts, graduated from St. Paul’s Lutheran High School in Concordia, Missouri, earned a fake degree from Concordia University in Seward, Nebraska, and a Master Degree in aromatherapy from Lindenwood University in St. Charles, Missouri. Sam is p*ssed off at everyone, but definitely the Republicans for raising his taxes. Sam is currently looking for his glasses. If you see them call Lloyd Sommerer Sr. Sam’s fondest memory is of writing this paragraph,
(Here’s his real one, too.)
Sam Sommerer, son of Theresa and Ralph Sommerer, is a teacher at St. John Lutheran School in Seward, Nebraska. Sam has taught at Mt. Olive School in Des Moines, Iowa, and Immanuel Lutheran School in St. Charles, Missouri. Sam has a wife, Rachel (Flanscha) Sommerer, and two children, Anna and Gracen.
Lloyd also wrote his own.
Lloyd Sommerer, Jr. occasionally attended Immanuel Lutheran School when he wasn’t faking being sick. Lloyd was then sent to St. Paul Lutheran High School, widely considered a reform school for the wayward children of Lutheran pastors and teachers. At Concordia Teacher’s College Lloyd was voted most likely to jump to the wrong conclusion. After graduating from Concordia in 1993, which took five year to accomplish, Lloyd and his wife, Lauren, traveled the world living out of a VW Microbus before teaching at Ascension Lutheran School outside of Washington D.C. Two years later, after they found out that the Sommerer’s didn’t actually have teaching degrees, they moved to Nebraska. Lloyd currently pretends to teach home economics and is serving a 15 to life term as the Technology Coordinator at Lincoln Lutheran High School in Lincoln, Nebraska. Go Big Red. Lauren teaches cats how to swim at St. John Lutheran Church in Seward, Nebraska where they live. Lloyd is the favorite son of movie mogul Jane Sommerer and her husband, famous actor, Lloyd Sr. who is best known for his catch phrase, “Damnit, Tina.”
Of course, here is Lloyd’s real one:
Lloyd Sommerer, Jr. attended Immanuel Lutheran School, St. Paul High School, and Concordia Teacher’s College. After graduating from Concordia in 1993 with degrees in education and computer science, Lloyd and his wife, Lauren, taught at Ascension Lutheran School outside of Washington D.C. He currently teaches and is the Technology Coordinator at Lincoln Lutheran High School in Lincoln, Nebraska. Lauren teaches preschool at St. John Lutheran Church in Seward, Nebraska where they live. Lloyd is the son of Jane and Lloyd Sommerer.
Thanks, boys! I enjoyed the night off!