Brad and I took Beth to Lincoln tonight so she could join Harold for a wrestling thing (not with each other… I presume.) Anyway, we stopped at the mall so she could return some clothes and went to the food court for a bite to eat. My teeth had felt a little yucky all day, so in the food court bathroom I was both surprised and pleased to see this:
A Chewable Toothbrush. I foolishly didn’t look at the picture on the vending machine and was expecting something more like crunchy gum. This was made of plastic, which will wind up in the ocean eventually. Foolish, foolish Lauren. I chewed it for about five minutes then started gagging.
The picture is blurry, but if you want to see it in more detail, go here.
In other news, Lloyd is having a blast in Texas! Lloyd, tell the good folks how much fun you’re having!
I went to the restroom at the mall too. We didn’t even HAVE that option in the men’s room vending machine. We had sour drops, cologne, mints, and a toy. Why no chewable toothbrush for men? Do we not need clean teeth or an opportunity to gag while chewing plastic?
The chewable toothbrush superceded your parking lot heroics? I’m so sorry Brad didn’t take a picture of you nabbing the stoned shoplifter…
To be fair, the toothbrush was really strange. Minty plastic, eh?
Nobody would believe me since SOMEBODY *cough*Brad*cough* didn’t take a picture. I wonder if the security camera guys would give us a copy of the tape?
You are awesome Lauren!!! Beth told me about your heroics. That is great! We need more people like you.
“Watch out all you criminals out there. There’s a new force to contend with. She is mad at crime and is taking the law into her own hands.”
Yes! She’ll spit a chewable toothbrush at you!
What are the heroics?
Some girl was stealing games or dvd’s from Circuit City and we chased her in the car and I got out of the car and grabbed her. It was my preschool instinct kicking in – when a child is running away, somebody needs to step in there.
Lauren: Did you have a weapon? Did you have hand cuffs? Did you have a shiny badge?
What was your problem Brad … Mr. Shutterbug? Why no photo of the event? You aren’t afraid of taking a picture of your odometer while driving on Perring Pwky. Were you afraid of getting sucked into some courtroom case with major evidence?
I was busy reaching for my phone and getting ready to call 911. I didn’t know what the heck was going on… all of the sudden, Lauren was driving like a maniac across the parking lot and looking like she was going to run over this girl. Then she was jumping out of the car and grabbing her. I was very confused.
To be fair, it was all over within two minutes. I barely remember it, except getting back into the car and thinking, “We have to get out of here before she keys the car.”
So what happened to her? Did she get arrested? How old was this girl? Did she put up a struggle? C’mon…I don’t want to be the only one in our family to have ever gotten a black eye.
So how did you get a black eye?
Not a real struggle. The manager chased her around the car and I stood there and grabbed her wrists. She was late teens/early twenties. (Brad said she looked in the window of the car and had the old/young look of a druggie.) No real struggle. Kristi, the manager offered to give me a gift certificate but I said no thanks. (I wasn’t being noble, I just didn’t want to stick around.)
Did you get a cash reward? How about free DVDs or something like that from the grateful Circuit City manager?!