We got home in the early evening on Tuesday and had a message to meet up with the Gebhardts later, so I was too beat to update. Fortunately, I had 400 and some miles to think about the best way to share our hotel story with you, so here it is – in the form of a poem.
The Priceline Kid
Made a bid,
foolishly clicking ‘one star’.
Hoped for a bump*,
Instead got a dump.
A smoky, dirty one star.**
To the front clerk,
“This won’t work.
Can you change it to no-smoking?”
“Nope, that’s it.
Sleep in the pit.”
Lloyd thought he must be joking.
Called HQ,
talked it through,
That Lloyd – he’s no sloucher.
Back to the desk,
fixed the mess,
he got us a free voucher.
“Bye” to there,
Drove to where,
We had reserved a new room.
Got it for free,
Much to my glee,
“no smoking” smelled like perfume.
* My bad memory thought that in the past when we had clicked on ‘one star’, it had bumped us up to a two or two-and-a-half. Note to self: Never click one star.
** I know it’s bad poetry to rhyme something with the exact same thing. Cut me some slack.
Ribs says
Most excellent poem, made me smile over my morning coffee (and that’s no mean feat with Finnish coffee, I can tell you…).
Kitt says
Your poem’s a delight.
You got it just right!
Deanne says
Isn’t it great to be home?
Beth says
But where’s the picture of the dump?
Brad says
…and it should be scratch-and-sniff so we can get an idea of how bad it was to be in a smoking room.
Peggy says
Welcome home Sommerers!! (Yea--no pic. of the dump?)
So Lloyd, exactly how is it that you got the people to give in? I could use some tips beings I’ll probably be traveling to NY more than I ever thought I would be. Our last hotel there was a dump too … but we couldn’t even get a bagel out of them.
Annette says
It’s either his hair, or the super-human glare which says, “I can break you in half like a stick with a glance.” Maybe it’s simply his extreme good looks—everyone caves!
Lloyd says
The secret is very simple, and always works with anyone who doesn’t know the secret. You just shut up. People are very uncomfortable with silence, and will start offering you things just to get you talking again. It’s strange.
If that doesn’t work, I use an old Jedi mind trick.
Beth says
Is that why when “someone” is mad and furiously quiet at you, you don’t respond? Because you know the secret?
Interesting…
Someone says
Yes, very interesting….
Mark says
Is the photo of a LaQuinta? It looks like a LaQuinta.
Lauren says
No, it’s an Extended Stay America. Booo -- Extended Stay America!!!
Mark says
So, wait…
Is the photo of the awful one-star Priceline selected motel, or of the non-smoking, perfume-familiar hotel room you moved into on the voucher?
What was the FIRST hotel (and where) so I can avoid it like the plague; and what was the SECOND hotel you actually stayed at?
Lauren says
Both of them are Extended Stay America. You can visit their fine umbrella parent here. The first one was in Lakewood West, the second, nicer one was a ‘Deluxe’ in Westminster.
Jill says
Just skip 1 star altogether and stay at a Marriott, clean, nice and someplace even have breakfast, BONUS! Next time ask!
Mark says
Next time, just call your brother. He can get you a great hotel at a very reasonable rate. Trip points, miles and all that jazz.