So, why did Lloyd make the zombie map?
It all started when I was watching an episode of “Hoarders”. I love those shows! I see somebody drowning in a sea of junk, and while I feel incredibly sorry for them, it is fascinating to watch them rationalize how they need all that stuff. It also makes me want to immediately fill a bag up with items to donate to Goodwill. (But I don’t, because I’m lazy.)
This one man was in his tiny apartment that was absolutely crammed full. The show had hired a professional organizer to help him, and the organizer asked: “Do you ever go through these things and ask yourself, ‘Do I really need it?'”
Hoarder: “All the time. I need all of it.”
Astonished Organizer: “Imagine that you have five minutes to get the things that you really need out of here before some catastrophe hits – what would you take?”
Hoarder (hemming and hawing for a long time): “Um… um …..I don’t know.”
Organizer: “That’s one minute gone. Now you have four.”
Well, isn’t that a fascinating scenario?
Lloyd and I spent a bit of time talking about it. What would we take if we only had five minutes? I looked around and realized that there’s very little in this house that I can’t live without. I’ve heard people say that their photos are the irreplaceable things in their life, and most of our mementos are in the living room trunk/coffee table, but other than that, I’d say that I’d need to take my wallet, since everything else in the house can be bought again. Clothes, furniture, dishes – all can be replaced….. if you have the means to replace it.
I tried a different scenario.
Lauren: “Ok, what would you take if you weren’t able to replace things and had to, say, live out of your car for two weeks with the stuff you brought instead of a cushy hotel across from Wal-Mart?”
Lloyd: “What situation would that be?”
Lauren: “I don’t know – some sort of mass catastrophe where the hotels are filled up and stores can’t sell you stuff. Maybe a plague or something.”
Lloyd: “You mean a zombie apocalypse.”
Lauren: “Of course.”
Thus began a very serious discussion about what to do in a zombie attack situation. Lloyd started listing stuff he would need, and I just said that I would go over to Mr. Royuk’s house since he has a gun. (I would not do well in a zombie situation and would “remove myself” – if you get my drift. I told Lloyd I’d shoot him too, if he needed it.)
So, just for kicks: What I would take if I had five minutes, and NOT an imminent zombie attack? (Say, if the house was going to be vaporized by aliens to make room for a hyperspace bypass.) Also, assuming all living creatures inside (now just Lloyd, but if we would ever have pets or guests) are safe and ok?
* Safe deposit box key, if I could find it.
* A change of clothes
* Drag the trunk of photos** to the lawn.
* I guess our bank records. Is that necessary?
* Surprisingly, I would leave the ukes. Being vaporized by aliens is great excuse to buy new ones.
* My camera & laptop, to record the catastrophe.
What would you take? Quick! You only have five minutes!!
**It seems to me my load would be lightened considerably if I’d scan all those photos to Flickr or something, huh?