Worst. Birthday. Ever.

December 19, 2011


Happy Birthday to you!
Cough-cough-cough and a-choo!
You got sick on your birthday
when you turned forty-two.

So, Lloyd doesn’t feel well, which really took the pressure off me trying to do something nice for his birthday. I brought him home a bag of Chinese food and a box of cold medicine. Happy Birthday, pal.

Since I don’t have any other pictures, let me just tell you about trying to make an appointment for getting new tires on my truck, yet another installment in the ‘Lauren doesn’t know how to handle car situations’ saga.

I’ve meant to call about tires since I got out of the ditch. The father of one of my preschoolers owns a tire place in town, and when I asked him about it he said, “Yeah – just call and make an appointment. They’ll figure out what kind you need.”

Newbie me thought that that meant I would make an appointment, take them my truck, and they would figure out what kind of tires I need.

So today I finally get around to calling… and it turns out I don’t know anything about my truck.

Me (calling from work): “Hi! I’d like to get new tires for my truck.”
Nice Man: “Okay. What kind of truck is it?”
Me: (thinking) ….. red? Dang it. What is it? (aloud, with confidence) A ’98 Mazda B2300. (Woo-hoo! Way to go, brain!)
NM (Checking his database): “A ’98? That would have to be a B2500, a 3000 or a 4000.”
Me: “I’m pretty sure it’s a 2300.”
Me: “Um. Just a second.”

I ran furiously down the alley to my truck, my heart pounding in my ears due to my firm resolution to never run unless being chased by a big dog or zombies.

Me: “It’s….*gasp*… a B…*gasp* 2500….Whaddaya know?… *wheeze*

I held the mouthpiece of the phone up over my eyebrows when I’d suck air back into my lungs. I didn’t want him to hear that I was and idiot AND a weeny.

NM: “What size of tires are they?”
Me: “You have got… *wheeze* ….to be kidding me.”

It went on like that for a long time. If I knew that this was going to be a test, I would have studied harder.

About Lauren

Lauren Sommerer is a preschool teacher who likes to build prototypes, grow cats, cook things once, save money, reduce, reuse and recycle.

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5 Responses to “Worst. Birthday. Ever.”

  1. Brad Said on:

    Ha! The same thing happened to me when I bought tires. Except I was trying to tell a computer what tires I needed, which was better because a human didn’t find out how little I knew about my vehicle, but was worse because I couldn’t ask it for help or confirmation.


  2. Kris Said on:

    You make me giggle. I’m the same way when we check into a hotel and they ask for our vehicle’s make, model, and license plate number. I say something like, “Well, it’s a van. It’s black. Or, well, dark gray, really. And old. Hold on…. I’ll be right back.” Hope Lloyd is feeling better, especially by Thursday so he can wear his sweater:)


  3. Deborah Said on:

    This is why I always “get” to handle the car repair stuff. Someone thinks that it’s better for a girl to sound stupid about a car than a boy.


  4. Peggy Said on:

    AND your birthday was on a Monday. 🙁

    But you sure look awful comfortable & cozy on that couch. And you must be dreaming of something good….I detect a smirk on your face. So I’m thinking maybe that is the way to spend a birthday…except for the sick part.


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