Several years ago I discovered the magical properties of lotion. Up until then, I’d just hop out of the shower, dry and dress and go about my day, leaving a trail of skin flakes that guided me home at the end of the day like a disgusting Hansel and Gretel story. (Too vivid? Sorry.) Then I tried lotion, and was amazed at how much less like lizard skin my skin appeared! Who’da thunk it?
Around that time I also cleaned my glasses, and looking in the mirror I could suddenly see that the skin around my eyes was turning into crepe paper! I cursed my newly-discovered wrinkles, and purchased a face lotion that promised to restore my crinkly skin to baby-smoothness. (I only used half-doses, though, because I didn’t want fat baby eyes.)
And then there were my elbows. The ones that had such dry, scaly, weird bumps that they made my dermatologist think I had scabies. (I didn’t, and he was an idiot. Those bumps come back every winter.) I showed them to my regular, non-idiot doctor and he prescribed a cream with steroids to calm my troubled elbows. There there, elbows.
And then….. I tried olive oil.
Yep, the stuff you cook with. I’ve been using it instead of all those lotions for about a month now and I am deeming this experiment a success. Straight out of the shower I pour a little in my hand and slather my legs and elbows, then pat my face with the residue left on my hands. While it hasn’t given me baby eyes – my face doesn’t feel wintery-dry-itchy, my legs aren’t shedding, and my elbows are completely non-scabby!
It soaks in rather quickly and since it’s not the extra-virgin kind, I don’t think I smell like salad dressing, but then again – my nose isn’t the best smeller. Even if I do, I think I’m sticking with it because this stuff is cheeeeeeeeap! Win!