Several years ago I discovered the magical properties of lotion. Up until then, I’d just hop out of the shower, dry and dress and go about my day, leaving a trail of skin flakes that guided me home at the end of the day like a disgusting Hansel and Gretel story. (Too vivid? Sorry.) Then I tried lotion, and was amazed at how much less like lizard skin my skin appeared! Who’da thunk it?
Around that time I also cleaned my glasses, and looking in the mirror I could suddenly see that the skin around my eyes was turning into crepe paper! I cursed my newly-discovered wrinkles, and purchased a face lotion that promised to restore my crinkly skin to baby-smoothness. (I only used half-doses, though, because I didn’t want fat baby eyes.)
And then there were my elbows. The ones that had such dry, scaly, weird bumps that they made my dermatologist think I had scabies. (I didn’t, and he was an idiot. Those bumps come back every winter.) I showed them to my regular, non-idiot doctor and he prescribed a cream with steroids to calm my troubled elbows. There there, elbows.
And then….. I tried olive oil.
Yep, the stuff you cook with. I’ve been using it instead of all those lotions for about a month now and I am deeming this experiment a success. Straight out of the shower I pour a little in my hand and slather my legs and elbows, then pat my face with the residue left on my hands. While it hasn’t given me baby eyes – my face doesn’t feel wintery-dry-itchy, my legs aren’t shedding, and my elbows are completely non-scabby!
It soaks in rather quickly and since it’s not the extra-virgin kind, I don’t think I smell like salad dressing, but then again – my nose isn’t the best smeller. Even if I do, I think I’m sticking with it because this stuff is cheeeeeeeeap! Win!
Mary Ellen says
I wonder if the extra virgin stuff would restore my skin AND my innocence?
Lauren says
Ha! Now that’s funny.
Brad says
I wonder if other oils would be as successful. Shortening would be less of a spill risk.
Lauren's dad says
You could scent it with a few drops of garlic juice. :>) Yeah, I know I’m bad!
Peggy says
HAHA! I cracked up at your 1st paragraph! Laughing with you because I can so relate. From one flakey person to another, I’ve had a steroid cream this winter too for my dry skin.
Olive Oil you say? I hate feeling oiling as much as feeling dry, but if you endorse it, I’ll try it.
Hopefully I won’t go Slip Sliding Away (there now you can have a new song in your head)
Peggy says
PS I didn’t know Paul Simon died.
And did you watch 30 Rock last night Lauren. It was written just for yuo.
Peggy says
I meant just for you. (Yuo is Yoko Ono’s half sister)
Lauren says
I had a meeting last night so I haven’t watched my stories yet. I can’t wait.
There is no way Paul Simon is dead! I would have sensed a disturbance in the force, wouldn’t I?
Kristi says
I’ve heard that olive oil does wonders for your skin. I’m trying coconut oil right now, and it’s working. With the cold temps, it’s in a solid state. After a shower, I warm it in my hands, and I smell like I’ve come straight from the Hawaiian Islands. Ooh-la-la.
Curt says
Sorry but right away I thought of this clip. Lauren, make sure you stay out of the sun and out of the kitchen when you are wearing that oil.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_F4DTGx6AMo#t=1m33s
Lloyd says
I haven’t clicked on the link yet, but I’m pretty sure I know what it is, and that’s the first thought that occurred to me as well.