Lloyd’s weird sandwich

November 6, 2012


Meal-making has been sketchy around here the past year or so. I don’t know what’s wrong, but I seem to be unable to put hot food together on any kind of regular basis. Something that has saved dinner the past few weeks is having a loaf of pumpernickel bread, honeycrisp apples, summer sausage and cheese on hand. I eat a slice of bread with butter and cheese, then have slices of sausage and apple as ‘side dishes’. Lloyd creates an abomination: an open-face cheese/sausage/apple sandwich.

Crazy. I refuse to try it.

Here is the final product with way too much flash.

Did you notice the wafer-thin apple slices? Oh, how I love to cut apples. I know I’ve gone on about this before, but I consider it my super power. As I was slicing, I told Lloyd that he should call me ‘Mandy’, because I’m like a mandoline.

“You’re an instrument?” he asked. I scoffed and proceeded to tell him what a slicing mandoline is, but he cut me off by singing ‘Mandy’ to the tune of ‘Brandy‘ really, really, really loudly. Grrrrrrr.

Cretin. Look at these slices. I must be a robot.

Mandy, you're a fine girl, what a goooood wife you would be.

I have a new way to cut apples up. I used to quarter them, diagonally cut the core, then slice, but this is faster – slice off a side, then another, then another, then the last. The pieces are already set up for perfect parallel piecing.

Ignore my alligator skin.

I'm holding it this way for demonstration purposes. Or did it just fall apart in my hand??

Woo-hoo!! The slicing! The slicing!

One apple.

…. I think I might have a problem…..

(By the way – Dad, your box of Fujis came yesterday. I’m going to look at them with the kids today. If they’re lucky, I’ll slice them some.

Ever-so-non-humbly, your daughter.)

About Lauren

Lauren Sommerer is a preschool teacher who likes to build prototypes, grow cats, cook things once, save money, reduce, reuse and recycle.

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6 Responses to “Lloyd’s weird sandwich”

  1. Gretchen Said on:

    I recently discovered the side-slice technique also. Love it! I have a slight modification: after the first slice turn the apple 180 degrees for another whole slice, then the two smaller sides. I appreciate the symmetry.

    Mandy, that is better than a mandolin. Fewer dishes, less storage space, and fewer scars.


  2. Brad Said on:

    I don’t know that “Brandy” song at all. I can’t remember even hearing it.


  3. Brad Said on:

    And what does it mean that you’re going to “look at” a box of apples with your kids? I’m imagining everyone sitting around the box of apples and staring at it.


  4. Lauren Said on:

    Gretchen -- amen! We are slice soul sisters.

    Brad -- We will hold them, compare colors, smell them, draw them, talk about the sizes, find the stem and the part on the bottom that used to be the flower -- all after sitting around and staring at the box for ten minutes. 😉


  5. Peggy Said on:

    I wish you could get a job at my food store in the Deli. They never slice my ham thin enough. I don’t want it chipped, but sliced very, very thin. They just don’t get it.

    Your apples look yummy!


  6. Lauren Said on:

    Deli slicer is my true calling! Where is the nearest deli??


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