No thank you, apocalypse milk.

So, you might remember that I’m not buying milk in liquid form anymore. The can of powdered milk is serving my coffee needs, and as it turns out, I like to eat the Bob’s Red Mill 5-Grain cereal with just sugar and cranberries- no milk needed.

Lloyd’s breakfast needs are different. He usually grabs a piece of fruit and an oatmeal cookie (if I remember to make some) on his way out the door. On Saturdays I like to make bacon and eggs, but occasionally he just wants to eat cereal. His cereal. His secret stash of cereal.

So Lloyd wanted to buy some milk to ‘keep on hand’ a couple of weeks ago and I nixed it. “What if I want to eat my cereal?” he asked. I responded that since that happens once every two months, that milk would just go bad in the fridge, and we already have a bad jug in there already. (Still haven’t touched Brad’s.) We compromised by buying some shelf-stable milk and keeping it in the fridge so it would be cold when he needed it.

Are you familiar with shelf-stable milk? It’s sold in a box and can be left out on a shelf until the zombies come for you. Once you crack it open you have to refrigerate it, but the actual milk inside has been super-irradiated and is a miracle of modern science.

Well, on Saturday Lloyd decided to have cereal. He peeled open the carton, poured some on his Special K, took a bite, and…… stopped.

“This is not good. This would have to be a million times colder to be even passable.”

Yet, he choked down the whole bowl.

Great. Another container of milk that’s going to go bad in my fridge. I’m running out of room.