“I’ve switched to Verizon,” Lloyd said.
“Let’s switch you to my plan,” he said.
“It will save money,” he said, knowing that this is my Kryptonite.
“I’m sure they will let you keep you ancient phone,” he assured me.
So into the Verizon store we walked, me and old Weirdbeard. The tall, cool-yet-nerdy clerk with his tablet took one look at us and averted his bespectacled, hipster eyes. Lloyd asked, “Can we put her on my plan and keep her old phone?”.
Hipster boy rolled those eyes and sighed at his iPad, “You can do one of those things.”
What!?!
Nooooooooo!!! . I felt so betrayed! It felt like…. like going to the pet store for new cat litter but instead they kill your cat and give you a DIFFERENT CAT.
So I picked out the cheapest flip phone they had. (It’s selling point is Large Numbers.) We were transferred to Cool Lady who kept trying to give me things to make me feel better about my data-free, non-smartphone, but I rejected her snap-on case and belt clip and just waited for her to hook the two phones up to the machine that transfers all the info over to the new phone.
She turned around and said, “Um, this phone is too old to work with this machine.”
*sniffle* I won’t let her talk to you like that, old blue! You served me well for at least eight years!