When I left work last week, a car parked next to mine made an awful sound. A scrawny young man got out of it, shaking his head. I asked if he needed a jump start, and he said, “I guess so.”
I called Lloyd to remember how to hook up the cables without dying. Lloyd was busy in a meeting and didn’t answer.
I looked at the kid. “You feel like being dangerous?” He was game.
I knew that the order of attaching the cables was ‘Positive, Positive, Negative, Ground’, but I couldn’t remember which car was supposed to have the ‘Ground’. (You can do it negative terminal to negative terminal, but Lloyd says it’s more dangerous. I believe everything Lloyd says.)
Fortunately, I guessed correctly, but I was a bit nervous. So, to avoid such trouble in the future, I have taken it upon myself to write: the Jump Start Song. (It’s not mentioned in the song, but the BOLT (that grounds the electricity) that you want to connect to on the bad car should be an unpainted bolt somewhere on the engine block.)
Now it’s time for us to sing the Jump Start Song.
Grab your jumper cables and sing along!
Untangle the knots and keep the clamps apart.
Gotta connect ’em right before the engines start.
Positive, Positive, Negative, Ground
Positive, Positive, Negative, Ground
Bad car, good car, good car, BOLT.
Positive, Positive, Negative, Ground
Positive, Positive, Negative, Ground
Follow these directions or you’re dead on the ground.
Bad car, good car, good car, BOLT.
Positive, Positive, Negative, Ground.
Start the good car, then start the bad car.
Woo-hoo! It worked! Well, so good so far.
Take the cables off in the opposite way.
Don’t touch the clamps or it’ll be your last day.
Later, I was patting myself on the back for coming up with such a catchy tune….. then I realized it was ‘Humpty Dumpty.’ D’oh! Anyway, next time you jump start a car, stay safe. 🙂