Enjoy your stupid loot, jerkface.

November 4, 2009

Drawings, Worst day ever

God bless CitiBank. I’ve received a few ‘Early Fraud Detection’ calls in the past few weeks, but they all turned out to be me. (We buy stuff for school, which can sometimes be crazy large amounts from strange places.)

A couple of days ago I got one that most definitely wasn’t me. Two thousand dollars at Verizon Wireless??!!?? Who is this moron? Shouldn’t he be easy to catch? Seriously – a guy with a trunkful of phones???

They never got our actual cards, just the number. Again. Grrrrrrrrrrrr. We don’t have to pay for the charges, but the vengeful, vengeful part of me hopes that terrible things happen to the thieves.

Cards cancelled. New ones on the way. Hateful thoughts in my heart. Gratitude towards CitiBank – blah blah blah, but mostly the hateful thoughts.


About Lauren

Lauren Sommerer is a preschool teacher who likes to build prototypes, grow cats, cook things once, save money, reduce, reuse and recycle.

View all posts by Lauren

13 Responses to “Enjoy your stupid loot, jerkface.”

  1. Brad Said on:

    Yikes! Do you think he was paying off his cell phone bill? If he was, it would be pretty easy to find him.

    But I’m guessing that in the grand scheme of things, two thousand dollars isn’t much money to a credit card company. It’s probably cheaper to just pay it off than to investigate it and prosecute.


  2. Beth Said on:

    Don’t forget to change all your automatic withdrawl card numbers.

    (Not a witty comment. And yes I know you’re prefectly aware that you need to do that. It’s just the best I could come up with. Without cussing out bad guys.)

    Stupid thieves.


    • Lauren Said on:

      Oh, cussing them out is quite welcome. In fact, I’d love to hear the possible horribleness people come up with to wish on them -- like uncontrollable diarrhea (always a classic).


      • Beth Said on:

        Wretched tooth pain. And hemorrhoids. And maybe pregnancy nausea, Beth-style.

        Oooo, Oooo! And passing a gall-stone pain!


      • Brad Said on:

        I started looking for a colorful curse, but all I found was “May you live in interesting times.” I was afraid to keep looking because I thought I might start hitting the firewall here at school.


  3. Rae Said on:

    To you thief!!

    “May the bird of paradise fly up your nose”
    “May an elephant caress you with his toes”
    “May your wife be plagued with runners in her hose”
    “May the bird of paradise fly up your nose”


  4. Deanne Said on:

    I’ve got a good curse. But I won’t say it in mixed company.


  5. Peggy Said on:

    Two thousand paper cuts on his or her hands.

    The worst itchy bug bite in the center of his back & one on the bottom of his feet, that never stops itching…for life.

    His new neighbor is Richard Simmons.

    (Sorry Lauren…that really stinks. Maybe, just maybe they’ll catch this guy)


  6. Jill Jurca Said on:

    I say strip em down and make them run naked through a corn field and then pour rubbing alcohol on them! Too mean?


  7. Mark Said on:

    I’d settle for an old standby:

    A swift and forceful kick to the groin while he stands there blindfolded and can’t see it coming.

    Terrorists need cell phones they only use once, after which they throw them away.

    Remind me to tell you about the Sem’s experience with credit card thieves sometime. Judgement Day can’t come too soon.


Leave a Reply