LaurenandLloyd.com

where our wasted time becomes your wasted time

cat

I can’t believe I’m making a cat post.

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Lauren said that I have to make a post, and that means looking through my camera for interesting pictures. I’m sort of loathe to make this post for several reason. The first of which is that you will find out that I occasionally take pictures of cats.  The second reason is that Lauren has told me that she does not like this picture of her, and that, if I use it, I am, “as good as dead.”

After protracted negotiations, we have reached an accord as to what percentage of her I can show in the picture. This is good, because without Lauren in the picture, it’s hard to tell just how large Ralph actually is.

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Have there been too many posts about Ralph lately?

 

Things that go bump, meow and flap in the night.

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It never fails that when we have company in the downstairs bedroom (right by the stairs), there is a need to sneak up & down our creaky steps during the night.

On Saturday night I woke up at four in the morning convinced that Pfennig was outside and dying. No amount of rationalization could fix it, so – creak, creak creak down the steps to look for her, then outside to call for her. I didn’t find her, but Neighbor Kitty and I had some meaningful moments. Pfennig met me in the kitchen when I got back.

Last night, there was the familiar *skritch*skritch* at the attic fan, and Lloyd caught another bat. I was super-brave this time and watched it all (from the safety of the bathroom), but we couldn’t get a ‘during’ photo because the camera was downstairs. Lloyd brought it back up before he took the bat outside and said, “Take a picture. Tomorrow might be a slow news day.”

Doesn't Lloyd look smashing in my robe?

It was.

You’re getting very sleepy….

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So, despite our best efforts to turn Saturday into First Floor Saturday (meaning we wouldn’t leave the first floor all day), Lloyd had a concert so we had to clean up and get out of pajamas. He showered first, then we talked for a while while he reclined at the top of our steps. (It’s surprisingly comfortable.) He got sleepy, so I went to take my shower. When I returned, he had a stowaway.

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Yes, she’s in his shirt with her evil eyes.

“Train up a cat in the place she shall sit…

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…. and when she is old she shall be weird.”

That's a uke book.

Cricket, like most cats, likes to cram her body into tiny nooks & crannies. There is no box she can’t fit into, even a box that doesn’t exist.

Ok, think ill of me if you will, but I let my cat sit on the counter. Not the food preparation part, but the ‘desk’ part where the computer is. It’s usually covered with mail/papers/boxes I don’t deliver, and she sits on the paper in a very “I’m not actually on the counter” kind of way. (If she does try to get on another part of the counter or on the table , you must yell “DharmaDharmaDharma!!” at her. Nothing else will work.)

So, a couple of nights ago I was trying to clean off the area and pulled a small envelope out from under her. Lloyd said, “Do you think she’d sit on a rectangle if you drew it on the counter?”

Hmmmmm.

Wisely avoiding the Sharpie, I went with tape. Sure ’nuff.

weird

Stupid wasteful cats

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Dear Soon-To-Be-Dead Cats,

What is the point of my closing off rooms so they don’t have to be heated when you just open those doors when I’m at work? I know that the door won’t latch because it’s winter and this dumb old house leans when it’s cold, but that’s no excuse. Knock it off. Don’t make me make Beth come over here.

Sincerely,

The Boss

Can you see the degrees leaking in there?

Fixed in the best white-trash fashion.

Project Funway

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So Cricket’s been sick for a while.  In fact, she’s been sick since I made fun of her, dang it.  She’s got some , um, ‘leakage’…..  and I won’t go into details.  Anyway, we’ve had her quarantined in the bathroom for a couple of days to see if The Situation is getting better.  It is, but she should probably go see the vet.  This is a big problem because she is just awful at the vet.   (She once bit through my finger during an appointment.) I’m guessing that the upcoming visit may require some, er…. ‘rectal prodding’ …. and since I really like keeping my blood in my fingers where it belongs, I made this muzzle tonight while I watched Project Runway.

NOTE: I always ask Lloyd to read through posts before I publish them, and now I know that if you’ve never watched Project Runway, the following is completely unfunny.

Tim Gunn: Designers, your challenge is to take this ordinary leather glove and create a fabulous restraint system on a budget of no dollars.  Good luck.

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Tim Gunn: We’re sending in your models for a fitting.

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Heidi Klum: I’m so beautiful, let’s start the show.

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Heidi Klum: Designers, we found your work to be careless and unfinished.  Lauren – you are somehow the winner of Project Runway.  Cricket – have some cat food.

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