Lawn mowing and the Muppet cake

August 22, 2010

Bad ideas, Cooking

So, I had one big project for this weekend – working on a video for my parents (shhh – don’t tell them) – but I kept getting sidetracked. The house is a wreck, and I had a few mini-projects spring up unexpectedly.

The first was getting out my wedding dress. I read last year’s post where it said that we were going to go to the movies wearing wedding attire. Well, there was no time for a movie, but there’s always time for getting out the dress!

I started to open the box and Lloyd said, “Really? In the kitchen?” There was a mess everywhere, but I didn’t care.

My mom had this thing put away by professionals – it was all sealed up with acid-free tissue paper carefully packed in and around it. Apparently, though, it was put away with a big ol’ stain on the belly, or else I spilled coffee on myself at the reception and didn’t notice. I was thrilled to see the spot, though, because now it didn’t matter! I could get anything on it and it was fine, because it already had a stain!

It made for the perfect opportunity for photos like this:

I could have lived without the bows.

I also decided to cross ‘Make a Wedding Cake’ off my list since it seemed like a good time.

Um, no.

First of all, I’m a big quitter. If something isn’t going right, I’m not about to put more effort into getting better at it. I baked up some cinnamon swirl cake (Lloyd’s flavor choice) in some old cans, started to put on the ‘crumb coat’ of frosting, and immediately realized that this was going to go badly. I don’t have the patience, ability or fine motor skills for cake decorating. I was really flummoxed, though, because I watch cake-decorating shows on t.v. all the time and figured it would be simple-dimple.

Um, no no no.

Leveling a cake is hard. (They make tools for that, but I knew not to invest.)

I believe the earth is slanted.

Putting fondant on is hard.

I rolled this too thick.

Making fondant roses is hard, and I didn’t think it would be. I make play-dough roses all the time at school, but the fondant wouldn’t stick together for me. (I was too lazy to read the directions.) I gave up and started to just frost it with frosting. As I was slapping stuff on the first cake I cracked up because I was starting to look like every cartoon cake I’ve ever drawn.

All it needs is swoops around the top edge.

Saddened by the failure of the roses, I just started squirting frosting on top, and it looked a little like a dress bottom. I went for a ridiculous frosting bride with a Muppet face, and Beth came over later and made a fondantman groom.

He's a little short for her.

They’ll be very happy together, I believe.

In closing, I doubt that I will ever try this again, though I’d like to learn how to make frosting roses – that would be cool. It’s crossed off the list, though, even if it’s not successful.

About Lauren

Lauren Sommerer is a preschool teacher who likes to build prototypes, grow cats, cook things once, save money, reduce, reuse and recycle.

View all posts by Lauren

9 Responses to “Lawn mowing and the Muppet cake”

  1. Brad Said on:

    Formal dress gardening! You’re like the female version of a Gentleman Gardener. Would that be called a Lady Gardener?

    (But I think most people might call you something else if they saw you gardening in your wedding dress…)


  2. Peggy Said on:

    I think you should have had Lloyd put on the dress & mow the lawn!

    (On some anniversay I took a picture of me in my wedding dress wearing a fake mustache & smoking a cigar. Great minds think alike…although I’m like the Stephen King version of you. And not nearly as talented!)

    The cake(s) looks GREAT! I’ve never worked with fondant. Is it a mix?


  3. Kristi Said on:

    You still fit into your wedding dress!!!

    And is that Bride-zilla?

    Love the post!


    • Peggy Said on:

      Omgosh…her wedding dress does still fit her perfectly! Lauren, you are amazing!! Still a beautiful bride…18 years later!! (Sorry your spouse has turned into a snowman)


  4. Lauren's mom Said on:

    You have skilz!! (that I don’t have)

    AND you are still pretty tiny. Sorry about the stain -- that shouldn’t be there. Oh well. It is still a beautiful dress.


  5. Karla Said on:

    Just I was just talking to a co-worker (also named Karla) and she was telling me about the family wedding she was going to in Florida. The bride bought her dress in NW Indiana and her family is bringing it to her on the plane next week. They don’t want to check it; if the airline won’t let them carry it on in the garment bag, one option is to wear it on the plane. I immediately thought of you mowing the grass in your dress and sent her a link.

    I secretly hope that happens and there will pictures to share.


    • Brad Said on:

      Good grief! How did you remember this, Karla? See, this is why I have a memory archive -- so I don’t have to remember things. But apparently it doesn’t help when I’m trying to remember Lloyd and Lauren’s lives.


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