A moment on the lips….

May 9, 2011


…forever in the garbage.

I caved on Sunday and bought the stupidest piece of junk I’ve ever seen.

In the past I have openly raged at the Colgate Wisp. I believe the first time I saw it was at Target and I was with Lloyd or Brad and stood in shock at this tiny disposable toothbrush that comes in a four-pack. Seriously? You can’t just use a toothpick or get a travel toothbrush?

Well, on Sunday after we went to the buffet, my teeth felt like they had grown fur. I dropped off Lloyd and then went to a drugstore to get a small travel toothbrush, but my purse is so tiny, I would never just keep it in there.

So, I stood in the toothbrush aisle and stared at the Wisps.

They mocked me with their tinyness: We’re cute, yes?

I stared some more.

Wisps: “We’re dispooooooooosable! We’ll be on the earth ten times as long as you will! Ha ha ha ha!”

I stared some more and started to seethe.

Wisps: “We’re each one-time use! Ha ha ha! Oh, the glorious, wasteful hedonism of it all!”

I grabbed the four-pack and said through clenched teeth, “That’s where you’re wrong. I will re-use each of you again and again until your bristles look like stalagmites melted by a nuclear bomb.”


Nearby toothpaste: “Can bombs even melt rocks?”

About Lauren

Lauren Sommerer is a preschool teacher who likes to build prototypes, grow cats, cook things once, save money, reduce, reuse and recycle.

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8 Responses to “A moment on the lips….”

  1. Gretchen Said on:

    I seem to recall another similar purchase once upon a time…was it in a vending machine in a restroom perhaps? Sorry, I’m too lazy to search the archives.


  2. Brad Said on:

    If I were you, I’d be less worried about using disposable toothbrushes, and more worried that I heard voices coming from hygiene products.


  3. Kristi Said on:

    Use them to clean your teflon pans. That’ll show ’em.


  4. Kris Said on:

    Quincy is standing over my shoulder as I read this, and she says that wisps have saved the day many times with her braces. Even a traveling toothbrush is more conspicuous (she says), the pointy thing at the end is helpful when you are packing a snack between your teeth and your brackets, and with a traveling toothbrush you need running water (not always handy). A package of those in a purse has been a lifesaver for her!


  5. Quiana Said on:

    It comforts me that other people feel this way. Also hear inanimate objects threaten them with the consequences of wastefulness.


  6. Mark Said on:

    Sis, next time, try Oral B Brush-Ups. They can’t help those with braces, but they are great for fresh-breath emergencies and much more likely to be biodegradable. They’re flat, they fit better into small spaces (like purses or even wallets), and they do a pretty good job of removing mouth fur.


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