…forever in the garbage.
I caved on Sunday and bought the stupidest piece of junk I’ve ever seen.
In the past I have openly raged at the Colgate Wisp. I believe the first time I saw it was at Target and I was with Lloyd or Brad and stood in shock at this tiny disposable toothbrush that comes in a four-pack. Seriously? You can’t just use a toothpick or get a travel toothbrush?
Well, on Sunday after we went to the buffet, my teeth felt like they had grown fur. I dropped off Lloyd and then went to a drugstore to get a small travel toothbrush, but my purse is so tiny, I would never just keep it in there.
So, I stood in the toothbrush aisle and stared at the Wisps.
They mocked me with their tinyness: We’re cute, yes?
I stared some more.
Wisps: “We’re dispooooooooosable! We’ll be on the earth ten times as long as you will! Ha ha ha ha!”
I stared some more and started to seethe.
Wisps: “We’re each one-time use! Ha ha ha! Oh, the glorious, wasteful hedonism of it all!”
I grabbed the four-pack and said through clenched teeth, “That’s where you’re wrong. I will re-use each of you again and again until your bristles look like stalagmites melted by a nuclear bomb.”
Nearby toothpaste: “Can bombs even melt rocks?”