During the summer I occasionally accompany the school-age bunch to the swimming pool. It’s a pleasant way to spend a couple of hours, but I always get a headache because I don’t have sunglasses. I used to have some clip-on things, but I lost them and my glasses are a weird size so I can’t find replacements. So I bit the bullet and went in to get prescription sunglasses at LensCrafters. “Glasses in about an hour, prescription almost right.” Since it’s been too long since I’ve seen the eye doctor, I needed an exam. Things are high-tech now! The assistant sat me down in five different machines that did tests for depth perception, glaucoma, colorblindness; it also had an automatic prescription guesser and I got a retinal scan.
When I finally sat down in the doctor’s chair, they had all my info pre-loaded into a computer. I paid extra for the pictures of my retinas. Perhaps we’ll use them for our Christmas cards – they’re pretty flattering.
The funny part was that he said, “Yes, your prescription has changed. Your eyes are getting better.” Ha! I always guessed that would happen, since I’m horribly nearsighted. He said, “When a person reaches their mid-thirties, their eyes stop changing in the one direction and go the other.” I said, “You mean late twenties, right?”  (I didn’t, but I shoulda.)
Mark says
Ha! My Lens Crafters eye doctor broke the news to me that “When a person approaches their mid-FORTIES, their eyes have a tendency to require lenses with two different focal points.” **A-hem**
I just looked at him, cupped my hand to my right ear and yelled, “Eh????”
Lauren says
Aren’t they tactful? There must be a class at Lens Crafter’s college called, “How to Break It to Them Gently”.
Annette says
You also can’t fool your OBGYN about your age!
Lauren says
They just count the rings, right?
Peggy says
I’ve never needed glasses. My eyes were always my best organs. Until a few months ago. My left eye is seeing a little fuzzy. I went to the eye doctor & he told me it’s not bad enough to warrant glasses. I said, “But won’t not correcting it mess up my other eye cause it’ll have to work hareder.” He said, “It doesn’t matter at your age. If you were 20 years younger I’d say yes.” I conveniently said “Hmmm …” while tapping my chin with tall man.
Peggy says
(the misspelling is for Brad’s benefit)
Lloyd says
As are mine, Peggy, as are mine.
Brad says
So you ARE mocking me for my misspellings!
How perfectly awful!
Peggy says
ARE YOU SHOUTING AT ME? WELL!
Brad says
Last time I went to the eye doctor, it was because the lump in my finger made me have “arthritis” in my eye. I have a picture of it somewhere. It’s kind of gross. And cool.
Peggy says
Huh? How can a lump give you arthritis in an eye?
Lloyd says
Have you not seen The Lump? If so, how can you doubt it’s power. For behold, blessed are those who have not seen and yet still believe.
Peggy says
No, I never saw “The Lump” … only lumpkin.
Brad says
I cut my finger while cleaning my fish tank. The resulting infection was a nine month adventure. I was on some of the most powerful antibiotics yet created, I had crazy bumps going up my right arm, had to do a lump biopsy from my bicep, went regularly to a dermatologist who was completely stumped by my condition, and had my eye go into immune system overdrive. The doctor described my eye being all crazy red by comparing it to arthritis because, he said, some kinds of arthritis are immune system issues.
Lauren says
Only Brad …..only Brad.
Michele says
I’m trying to picture Brad’s bicep. Brad, you have a bicep? Ha!
Bobbie says
Man what is it, “pick on Brad” day? And here I thought it was just Flag Day Eve.
Pfennig says
I love Brad.