The scene: Monday night. We are tired. Lloyd is working in front of his giant monitor.
Lloyd: “Come read my new rubric for web design class.” (That’s right, we use words like ‘rubric’ around here. We’re Smarty-Smartersons.)
Me: “Mm-hmmm. Yes… looks good….” (Counting in my head to seventy-five while staring at the screen and pretending to know what it means. What the heck is a rubric, anyway?)
Lloyd: “You’re not really reading, are you?”
Me: “Ummmmm…..”
Luckily, at this point his giant monitor starts to flicker in a mad, seizure-inducing way.
Lloyd gets very, very quiet.
I start laughing.
Lloyd glares.
I stop laughing.
I take pictures.
Lloyd messes with the controls and continues to be very, very quiet.
I go to my trusty, non-broken computer, look up “Gateway monitor flicker” and find many, many angry people in the world who hate Gateway with a fiery passion because their monitors have also betrayed them.
Lloyd is also doing research, watching (through the flicker) a video of someone who is speaking in a calm, comforting voice – like a person highly trained in comforting the bereaved.
I get bored and start watching YouTube videos.
Lloyd quietly hisses, “Stop watching videos. You’re using all my bandwidths.”
I go to bed and leave him alone in his sorrow.
End scene
Please leave your condolences below.
Oh, and just so you know, though in this story I seem like a really awful, heartless person – I know what a rubric is.
aww so sad, you just got that monitor too 🙁
This post made me laugh out loud. Substitute “rubric” for “golf” and Charlie Brown’s teacher is hanging out at both of our houses. (What, honey? No, of course I’m interested in what you’re saying.) I LOVE the counting to 75 in your head – always looking for keys to a happy marriage.
I’m sorry for your loss.
And that Lauren is a heartless person who knows what a rubric is.
It is still under warranty. But how am I going to mail it anywhere? Will I ever bask in its warm glow again? Oh Gateway HDX3000, I hardly knew you.
Maybe you can find another at an auction. (Sorry, I didn’t comment yesterday so I’m just trying to be doubly relevant.)
Sorry to have to say it, but the top photo shows one pitiful-looking Lloyd. It’s as if all of his super-computer skill powers have been zapped.
To Lloyd-
Sorrow comes in great waves…but it rolls over us, and though it may almost smother us it leaves us on the spot and we know that if it is strong we are stronger inasmuch as it passes and we remain.
To Lauren – HA!! And I always use your method when pretending to read the booklet when giving blood…only I daydream.
Now back to silence…
Great sweater!
You should have gotten the great big IMAC…..it is very pretty.
It also costs as much as… Um… Yeah… As a new monitor.
In your gravitar picture it looks like you are almost scowling. so I always give you a much more sarcastic voice in my head when I read your comments. I’m sure you didn’t mean it sarcastically. hehe.
So Sad. I hope you don’t have to mail it.