A long drawn-out story

Before we begin, Happy Birthday, Kathryn! 

During the winter months (well, perhaps during all months) I become a hermit.  I don’t like going anywhere, I don’t like doing anything –  I like staying home and hanging out with my friends on t.v. (Ahh…the good life.) However, we were slowly consuming all the supplies at home, and needed more food.  Now, in the Hermit’s Code, it says that we have to hate grocery shopping.  (True ‘dat.) 

We usually shop at Sam’s Club every three months or so to stock up.  Yesterday I drove all the way into Lincoln to run some errands – get some pants, look at clearance coats, and buy groceries.  As I pulled up to the first store, I realized I left my wallet at home.  ARRRGGHH! Luckily Lloyd was still at school, so I asked if he could meet me to bring his ATM card. Whew.  Disaster avoided.

Things went pretty smoothly, except I was nervous paying for my pants.  What if this was some weird store that made you sign for the purchase instead of punching in the PIN number?  My hand shook, but….. Hallelujah!  “Please enter your 4-digit code.”

I confidently drove out to Sam’s, and scoped out the parking lot, choosing a stall that was close to a cart corral, since I was going to be buying a full, and I mean FULL load.  As I got out of the car, I reached for my wallet to get the Sam’s super-decoder entrance card…. “ARRRRRGGHHHHH!!!!! I DON’T HAVE MY WALLET!” I screamed to the sky, scaring the people walking to their vehicles.  I consoled myself by saying that I’d just go blow that gift card to Bed, Bath and Beyond…WHICH WAS IN MY WALLET!  I called Lloyd to cry about it.  He said, “Just go into Sam’s anyway – they can look you up.”  “Idiot.” I replied, “I have no way of proving WHO I AM.  I’m sure this is all your fault.”  (That’s the best way to end an arguement – hands down.)

Anyway, long story short, here are the groceries I bought today.