I’ve always taken a kind of perverse pride in being a little strange. The highest compliment Millie Durfee paid to me in 4th grade was, “When I first met you I thought you were weird”. Ahhh…. music to my young ears.
Anyway, today came the realization that I’ve crossed some sort of line. So long to the pleasant “I actually got to play my ukulele in church and no one threw tomatoes” kind of crazy – welcome “ummmm….maybe we should start collecting the names of nursing homes”.
Exhibit 1: (There have been other instances, but this was the first one shocking enough to document)
I was cutting up one of Lloyd’s tattered undershirts into teeny, tiny 2-inch square (roughly) rags to wipe up the counter and toss in the trash with less eco-guilt than using a paper towel. (I was going to toss the shirt anyway.) No, that’s not the crazy part.
The crazy part is that I wanted a container to keep said squares in, and I looked under the bathroom sink. There was a ceramic canister I had been given years ago – perfect! As I got it out it was strangely heavy. Hmmmmm.
What the what? There’s some watery substance, a bunch of corroded change, and a drinking glass inside. What?!?! Did I do this? When? How? What could I possibly have beeen thinking? Is that water? Is it vinegar in there? Am I stashing money and drinkware at night?
Next comes leaving the oven on all day and locking myself out of the house dressed only in a bathrobe and galoshes holding a flyswatter.
Ha! That’s funny.
Maybe you were trying to drown those evil coins. Drown them before they cause more suffering!
Rats. I was secretly hoping that you might have been here when I did it and could explain everything.
You thought that maybe *I* could remember something? That’s kind of you. hehe…
So, will you be converting that change to bills? To hide the evidence?
Yes, but I’ll have to come up with a cover story – “I found these coins in a trunk on a sunken pirate ship…..”
The kinda-crazy part is “two inch squares to wipe up the counter”.
Do you plan to wash and re-use them?
Nah, I’m just going to toss them. Lloyd is wonderful and wipes off his side of the counter every morning with a paper towel (the half-sheet kind), while my side is a gross mess. I was going to pitch the shirt anyway, so now I’ll try to use up 50 tiny squares (over the course of a couple months) and we’ll see if I keep my side sparkly. Feel free to doubt me, everyone. I’m a big quitter.
No one has stated the obvious – Lauren is laundering money! It is in the pre-soaking stage to get off all the finger prints (probably from preschoolers.)
Another pre=soaking theory: to get off all identifiers, like the faces of the guys printed there. I think this is a penny, but there is no face of Abe here….hmmmm.
oops, a dash usually denotes a hyphen – not an = sign.
Ha. That’s funny. The best explaination is drunkeness.
I agree with your mom. Two inch squares? I think I would end up using 10 with each cleaning. It would be more eco friendly if you substituted the shirt for your dish towel. Now that would be classy. (hmmm…maybe I should try this)
I don’t recognize any crazy behavior in this post…
(of course I have left the oven on & locked myself out & chased chickens out of my yard in my pajamas screaming “Run for lives.”)
I’m with the Honorable Peggy. No craziness in this post. None.