• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Who’s Who
  • Archive
  • Lauren Stuff
    • Lauren’s To-Do List
    • Bacon Mat Gallery
    • Preschool Quotes
    • Bat Bugs and You
    • Hilarious!
    • Pot Pie recipe
    • Utility Bills
    • Gas Bills
    • Building Committee CDC
  • Lloyd Stuff
    • Lloyd’s To-Do List
    • 50 Best Movies for Middle School
    • Good High School Websites
    • Fantasy Baseball Files
    • Website Rubric & Programming Rubric
    • I Want to Bake Bread
    • I Want to Forge Swords
    • Sorry Chuck. Sorry Brad.
    • The Lloyd Gallery
    • Narnia in Pop Culture
    • myMiniCity WordPress Plugin
    • Settlers Record
  • Prius Camping
  • Brazil
    • Martin Hofman Diaries – 1946
Lloyd and Lauren website logo

LaurenandLloyd.com

where our wasted time becomes your wasted time

  • Most Popular
  • Drawings
  • Videos
  • Worst day ever
  • Journal
  • More
  • Brazil

Spam jokes

December 16, 2009 by Lauren 18 Comments

Today is my birthday, and I am forty. Say it loud, say it proud – I am forty! I have no intention of any celebration, because – as you all know – I am a hermit and relish my solitude. I look forward to a wonderful evening of doing nothing!

The present I am giving myself is not bothering to come up with a good post. Instead, I’ll share with you some of the jokes that the spammers have been trying to sneak onto our website. Gotta hand it to the spammers – they’re a funny crew.

  • I have a nice fresh joke for you people) How you get down from an elephant? You don’t, you get down from ducks.
  • I have a nice joke for you) What did the worm say to the caterpillar? What did you do to get that fur coat?
  • I have a fresh joke for you) Why do Vampire have to brush their teeth? Because they have Bat-Breath.
  • A JOKE! ) What did God say when Joan of Arc showed up at the Pearly Gates? Well done.
  • Sorry, for off top, i wanna tell one joke) Why do hurricanes travel so fast? If they traveled slowly, we would have to call them slow-i-canes
  • A joke for you! What do you get when a cat walks along a beach? Sandy Claws!!
  • A JOKE! ) Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? They all have phones.
  • I have a good fresh joke for you! What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny.
  • A JOKE! ) Why did Willie Nelson get hit by a car? He was playing on the road again.
  • Do you want a joke? 🙂 Who is Dracula’s favorite person on the baseball team? The BAT boy!

Filed Under: Lauren, Worst day ever

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Mark says

    December 17, 2009 at 1:01 am

    Happy Birthday, sister!!!

    12:00 a.m.

    Reply
  2. Jill says

    December 17, 2009 at 1:12 am

    Happy birthday, Lauren! Enjoy your perfect evening!

    Reply
  3. Brad says

    December 17, 2009 at 5:21 am

    Those are all HILARIOUS! I don’t get jokes in my spam. How do you suppose that happened? Are they all attempted comments on your joke posts? Maybe I should say the word “joke” in my posts every once in a while.

    Happy Birthday! Here’s a birthday joke for you-
    Q: Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
    A: Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!

    Reply
  4. Deborah says

    December 17, 2009 at 8:09 am

    Happy birthday!

    Reply
  5. Beth says

    December 17, 2009 at 8:23 am

    Happy Birthday!!

    And you get cool spam. Mine is all about cialis, levitra and ritalin.

    Reply
  6. Peggy says

    December 17, 2009 at 8:37 am

    Happy Birthday Lauren!! All us cool people were born in the 60’s…don’t bother fact checking!

    And I’ve been wondering what happened to all the jokes I’ve posted on your site…

    Why did the boy put candles on the toilet?
    He wanted to have a birthday potty!

    Reply
    • Peggy says

      December 17, 2009 at 10:42 am

      …and he was from Boston.

      Reply
  7. Rae says

    December 17, 2009 at 8:50 am

    Happy Birthday Lauren! Welcome to the club. (You realize that you have now joined two cool clubs in one week: the dementia club and the 40’s club. We are proud to have you as a member in both!

    Reply
  8. Brad says

    December 17, 2009 at 9:02 am

    It is also Milla Jovovich’s birthday today! She’s only 34, but she has a lot of zombie problems, so it stinks to be her.

    Reply
  9. Charles says

    December 17, 2009 at 9:07 am

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAUREN!! CHEERS! and welcome to the next decade! If this milestone is concerning to you, I have a pretty effective remedy -- call me!

    Reply
  10. Kristi says

    December 17, 2009 at 9:53 am

    Happy Birthday, Lauren!

    Reply
  11. Erika says

    December 17, 2009 at 12:19 pm

    Happy Happy Birthday Lauren!

    Reply
  12. Jill Jurca says

    December 17, 2009 at 1:41 pm

    Happy Happy Birthday! I AM FORTY! And it’s wonderful, you’ll enjoy it too!!!!!!

    Reply
  13. Lauren's mom says

    December 17, 2009 at 2:10 pm

    A very happy birthday to the youngest of the Hofman four. And hey,
    you are just a day older than yesterday.

    Reply
  14. Curt says

    December 17, 2009 at 6:01 pm

    Happy Birthday Lauren!!

    Reply
  15. Lauren says

    December 17, 2009 at 8:12 pm

    Thank you, everyone! 😀

    Reply
  16. Karla says

    December 17, 2009 at 8:43 pm

    Happy Birthday Lauren! 🙂

    Reply
  17. Millie says

    December 17, 2009 at 11:38 pm

    Lauren,
    I can’t believe I missed your birthday! I hope you had a wonderful day.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Recent Comments

  • Karla January 28, 2023 at 9:23 am on Lauren Gets a Smart Phone….. with resistanceArron is just about done paying off his watch with vitality. Helpful hint: if you’re having a bad month and[more]
  • Kristi January 27, 2023 at 1:00 pm on God is awesome.The delivery guys are the best!!! They carry the goods; they really do.
  • Brad January 27, 2023 at 9:22 am on God is awesome.Ha! That's awesome! When I ordered my bathroom sink it required a signature. Ugh. Fortunately, my neighbor saw the FedEx[more]
  • Mark January 27, 2023 at 7:32 am on God is awesome.Post pictures! Post pictures! I want to see this first-smart-phone in your hands. It’s almost unbelievable!
  • Beth January 27, 2023 at 6:32 am on God is awesome.I saw that post…I laughed out loud knowing that you were on a mission to get something from him. Now[more]

Friends

  • Brad
  • Deanne
  • Gretchen
  • Kitt
  • Kris
  • Kristi
  • Top

Sites

  • CSTA Nebraska
  • Lincoln Lutheran
  • Lorenz Family
  • Preschool Pointers
  • Programming Class
  • Sommerer Family
  • St. John CDC
  • Weber Family
  • WP Login

Tags

add art auction Bacon bathroom birthday brad camera Cartoon cat cats choir christmas clothing computer Cricket family food Gadget game garden geek green hair house ipad iphone kitchen laundry mail Meta movie movies music mystery omaha Peggy preschool reunion royuks School seward Small Town tv ukulele

Brad Quote

When Brad Royuk pounds his own erasers the other erasers are jealous.

Copyright © 2023 · Genesis Sample on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in