Spam jokes

December 16, 2009

Lauren, Worst day ever

Today is my birthday, and I am forty. Say it loud, say it proud – I am forty! I have no intention of any celebration, because – as you all know – I am a hermit and relish my solitude. I look forward to a wonderful evening of doing nothing!

The present I am giving myself is not bothering to come up with a good post. Instead, I’ll share with you some of the jokes that the spammers have been trying to sneak onto our website. Gotta hand it to the spammers – they’re a funny crew.

  • I have a nice fresh joke for you people) How you get down from an elephant? You don’t, you get down from ducks.
  • I have a nice joke for you) What did the worm say to the caterpillar? What did you do to get that fur coat?
  • I have a fresh joke for you) Why do Vampire have to brush their teeth? Because they have Bat-Breath.
  • A JOKE! ) What did God say when Joan of Arc showed up at the Pearly Gates? Well done.
  • Sorry, for off top, i wanna tell one joke) Why do hurricanes travel so fast? If they traveled slowly, we would have to call them slow-i-canes
  • A joke for you! What do you get when a cat walks along a beach? Sandy Claws!!
  • A JOKE! ) Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? They all have phones.
  • I have a good fresh joke for you! What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny.
  • A JOKE! ) Why did Willie Nelson get hit by a car? He was playing on the road again.
  • Do you want a joke? 🙂 Who is Dracula’s favorite person on the baseball team? The BAT boy!

About Lauren

Lauren Sommerer is a preschool teacher who likes to build prototypes, grow cats, cook things once, save money, reduce, reuse and recycle.

View all posts by Lauren


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18 Responses to “Spam jokes”

  1. Mark Said on:

    Happy Birthday, sister!!!

    12:00 a.m.


  2. Jill Said on:

    Happy birthday, Lauren! Enjoy your perfect evening!


  3. Brad Said on:

    Those are all HILARIOUS! I don’t get jokes in my spam. How do you suppose that happened? Are they all attempted comments on your joke posts? Maybe I should say the word “joke” in my posts every once in a while.

    Happy Birthday! Here’s a birthday joke for you-
    Q: Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
    A: Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!


  4. Deborah Said on:

    Happy birthday!


  5. Beth Said on:

    Happy Birthday!!

    And you get cool spam. Mine is all about cialis, levitra and ritalin.


  6. Peggy Said on:

    Happy Birthday Lauren!! All us cool people were born in the 60’s…don’t bother fact checking!

    And I’ve been wondering what happened to all the jokes I’ve posted on your site…

    Why did the boy put candles on the toilet?
    He wanted to have a birthday potty!


  7. Rae Said on:

    Happy Birthday Lauren! Welcome to the club. (You realize that you have now joined two cool clubs in one week: the dementia club and the 40’s club. We are proud to have you as a member in both!


  8. Brad Said on:

    It is also Milla Jovovich’s birthday today! She’s only 34, but she has a lot of zombie problems, so it stinks to be her.


  9. Charles Said on:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAUREN!! CHEERS! and welcome to the next decade! If this milestone is concerning to you, I have a pretty effective remedy -- call me!


  10. Kristi Said on:

    Happy Birthday, Lauren!


  11. Erika Said on:

    Happy Happy Birthday Lauren!


  12. Jill Jurca Said on:

    Happy Happy Birthday! I AM FORTY! And it’s wonderful, you’ll enjoy it too!!!!!!


  13. Lauren's mom Said on:

    A very happy birthday to the youngest of the Hofman four. And hey,
    you are just a day older than yesterday.


  14. Curt Said on:

    Happy Birthday Lauren!!


  15. Lauren Said on:

    Thank you, everyone! 😀


  16. Karla Said on:

    Happy Birthday Lauren! 🙂


  17. Millie Said on:

    I can’t believe I missed your birthday! I hope you had a wonderful day.


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