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Straight lines. Straight lines!

January 18, 2012 by Lauren 7 Comments

Let me make it clear from the start that though I am going to mock him thoroughly in this post, I really love Lloyd.

I rarely walk home from work anymore since I mostly drive the truck. On the rare occasions that I do and I know Lloyd won’t be coming home anytime soon, I walk down Seward Street to 7th Street. There are store windows to peek in, and Dollar General is open late and I can stop in to browse and warm up. It’s enjoyable.

Here’s the route. Notice the straight lines of this journey?

Takes about 15 minutes, unless I shop.

If I know Lloyd is home, I might call him for a ride to pick me up, then convince him that as long as we’re in the car, we should swing by Subway for a sandwich. (It’s an easy sell.) I tell him where I’ll be: On Seward Street or on 1st Street.

See, when I walk home in the summertime, occasionally I’ll call him at home and ask him to meet me. He grumbles, but he’ll do it. He walks 7th street to Lincoln Street, and I walk 1st street to Lincoln Street. See how we’re just following straight lines?

Takes about 15 minutes.

(Now the mocking begins.) On Tuesday morning my truck wouldn’t start, so I caught a ride to school with Lloyd. We had a staff meeting until 8 p.m., and afterwards I walked out to my truck…. that wasn’t there.

No problem!

I started walking and called Lloyd for a ride. “I’ll be on First Street,” I said.

Now I ask you, dear readers who are not even married to me, by what I’ve just said, if you were at Point B and needed to drive to get me, wouldn’t you drive down Lincoln and turn on 1st?   So would I, because we are reasonable people. That’s why I like you.

Back to my long, stupid story: A few blocks into my walk I was creeped out by a male fellow pedestrian. I called Lloyd again so I’d be on the phone in case MFP tried to talk to me or ninja-chop me. I could sense by the echo-y sound of Lloyd’s voice that he had not yet left the house. “I’m putting on my shoes,” he said.

Really?

I kept walking and kept walking, and as I rounded to Lincoln I wondered where he was. I kept walking a couple more blocks and called again.

Lauren: “Where are you??”
Lloyd: “On First Street. You don’t seem to be here.”
Lauren: “I’m on Lincoln now.”
Lloyd: “You said you’d be on First.”
Lauren: “Not forever.”
Lloyd: “I drove around. You weren’t here.”
Lauren: “Grrrrr. I’m almost home.”
Lloyd: “Oh.   Do you still want a ride?”
Lauren: Facepalm

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Brad says

    January 19, 2012 at 5:42 am

    You make your arguments sound so funny that I want to have an argument with you. Hehe…

    Reply
  2. Kristi says

    January 19, 2012 at 7:36 am

    “I drove around?” Lloyd must have great faith in your ability to ninja-chop the MFP if it took him that long to rescue you.

    Reply
  3. Peggy says

    January 19, 2012 at 8:08 am

    Lloyd, Lloyd, Lloyd….did you stop for a sandwich or some window shopping on the way?

    Reply
  4. Lauren's mom says

    January 19, 2012 at 9:42 am

    “Who’s on third?”

    Reply
    • Peggy says

      January 19, 2012 at 9:50 am

      He’s on 1st.

      Reply
      • Jill says

        January 19, 2012 at 11:16 am

        HA!! Love it. 🙂

        Reply
  5. Kris says

    January 19, 2012 at 9:14 pm

    Marriage — you gotta love it:)

    Reply

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