Just follow the dumb instructions, Lauren.

Here’s a crazy thought: when you get smoke detectors, hang them up ON THE WALL in a logical place, and replace the batteries every time we change the clocks. Sounds like something most people do, yes? Well, not Lloyd and Lauren.

A while back we bought smoke detectors that required batteries. Then, when some friends were having smoke detector troubles, we bought some that have 10-year batteries sealed inside. We actually hung those up, but took the old ones and tucked them away into ‘convenient’ spots. Why that happened, no one knows. We must have been drunk.

A couple of weeks ago, while I was doing my ‘sleeping-on-the-couch-because-it’s-the-weekend’ thing, I heard a beep in the night. I got up and listened several minutes to echolocate the mysterious beeping, and discovered it….. tucked on top of a piece of pottery on the tower of snacks.

Grrrrrrrr………

This weekend, the same thing happened. I woke up at 2:30 to a beep every 30 seconds. Again, I got up to echolocate in the cold, cold house. (The thermostat is set to 55 at night.)

Beep. Move closer to the beep, count to 30.

Beep. Move closer to the beep, count to 30. Yes. Closer.

Beep. Move closer to the beep, count to 30. No, not there.

Beep. Move closer to the beep, count to 30. No, not there.

It wasn’t on the first floor, but I could hear it. Down to the basement.

Beep. Move closer to the beep, count to 30.

Beep. Move closer to the beep, count to 30. …… you get the idea. This went on for a fair number of minutes, half minute by half minute. I thought I was going crazy – it could be anywhere!

Where was it?

Tucked in the joists, of course. WE ARE SO STUPID.

Thankfully we are not using those anymore, and just have the regular detectors that are in regular places. Good grief.