My preschoolers are putting on a circus for the last day of preschool next week, and while their acts are going to be incredible – a chicken on a tightrope, people – I am most excited to be playing the role of ringmaster. Oh, the power!
I need a costume, though, so I went browsing at a thrift store. I scored a tuxedo-looking ladies’ shirt and a black velour jacket that is positively spangled with silver glitter. It needed some modification, though. Sooooo – chop!
“Ladies and Gentleman! Behold the wonder that is still a jacket with value!! Watch in awe and horror as the Magnificent Lauren chops without pattern, plan or skill!”
“That’s right, folks – she’s using white thread! For though she does not have black thread, she knows how to wield a Sharpie!”
“Direct your attention to the finished product! Short in the front and long in the back! Yes, good people, she is wearing a mullet! Note how she does not fear holding the butt of that wild animal! Such bravery!”
See you at the circus. You’ll have to draw your own ticket.