Hard Rolls

March 3, 2015


I stop by Super Savers about once a week to pick up hard rolls. Lauren likes it when I do, because they are her favorite food. Well, one of her favorite foods. Well, I think her exact words were, “Food I don’t have to cook.”

We put butter on them and make open-faced sandwiches. They are amazing, because the bread is amazing. Hard, crispy crust and soft, fluffy inside. It’s a lot like the bread my grandma used to make, but even better, because of the greater crust to bread ratio.


Side note: As I typed that last bit I remembered that my grandma used to always say, “Eat the crust, because it makes you pretty.” I was about to write that she said that to all of her grandkids, but now that I think about it, I think she said that to all of the boys, and she would tell the girls, “Eat the crust, because it makes you handsome.” Grandma liked to mess with us. Don’t even get me started about giving us a knife and making us go out and cut our own switch when we’d been bad.

Anyway, where I was going with this was that for the past month or so, the hard rolls have been in a plastic bag that makes them not crispy. This is a real downer. Lauren knows some sort of sympathetic magic that makes them become crispy again, but she refuses to teach it to me, because she’s afraid that I will leave her once I know all of her eldritch ways.

Anyway, I was looking around at the bakery section of Super Saver yesterday to see if they had any “having not sat around in a plastic bag” hard rolls. The store director happened to be in the area and he noticed me looking for something and I said I was looking for hard rolls. He pointed me to the bags and I asked if they still sold them without the bags.

He immediately knew why I was asking and talked for some length about how they had tracked the time of day when they sold hard rolls for some time and they had decided that the best time to take the remaining hard rolls and make them inedible put them in plastic bags was at 3:00pm.

Then he handed me his card and said, “But call this number, ask for Tina and tell her to set some aside for you.”

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About Lloyd

Lloyd Sommerer is a middle/high school teacher who likes to build websites, read books, grow beards, make fun of Lauren’s prototypes and eat the sauce of the picante.

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4 Responses to “Hard Rolls”

  1. Brad Said on:

    How interesting to get to see behind the curtain of the hard roll world. Will you actually call Tina, or will you just let Lauren continue to do her magic?


  2. Mom Said on:

    Dad said to copy the phone # down in a lot of places. Grandma always told him the crust makes your cheeks rosy.


  3. Lauren Said on:

    I forgot to express my sincere gratitude for Lloyd bringing rolls home. They, and he, rock!!

    Fresh or stale, I’ll eat ’em.


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