LaurenandLloyd.com

where our wasted time becomes your wasted time

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A moment on the lips….

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…forever in the garbage.

I caved on Sunday and bought the stupidest piece of junk I’ve ever seen.

In the past I have openly raged at the Colgate Wisp. I believe the first time I saw it was at Target and I was with Lloyd or Brad and stood in shock at this tiny disposable toothbrush that comes in a four-pack. Seriously? You can’t just use a toothpick or get a travel toothbrush?

Well, on Sunday after we went to the buffet, my teeth felt like they had grown fur. I dropped off Lloyd and then went to a drugstore to get a small travel toothbrush, but my purse is so tiny, I would never just keep it in there.

So, I stood in the toothbrush aisle and stared at the Wisps.

They mocked me with their tinyness: We’re cute, yes?

I stared some more.

Wisps: “We’re dispooooooooosable! We’ll be on the earth ten times as long as you will! Ha ha ha ha!”

I stared some more and started to seethe.

Wisps: “We’re each one-time use! Ha ha ha! Oh, the glorious, wasteful hedonism of it all!”

I grabbed the four-pack and said through clenched teeth, “That’s where you’re wrong. I will re-use each of you again and again until your bristles look like stalagmites melted by a nuclear bomb.”

Wisps: “NOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Nearby toothpaste: “Can bombs even melt rocks?”

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Roly-poly Dr. Scholl-ys,
fifteen bucks at Wally*Mart.
Put them on – take not one strolly;
three of them! That’s a good start.

Walk while shopping,
walk ’round town,
walk for groc’ries,
then sit down.

“Curvy shoes for better butt!“
Well, not mine, but then –
so what?

I’ve no need for better heiney –
cheapness is my love affair.
Rolly polly Dr. Scholl-ys,
twelve more times then
buck-a-wear.

https://laurenandlloyd.com/2011/04/26/11318/

Coffee filters & paint – a dynamite combo

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Each year all the classes at St. John take turns decorating the cafeteria with art, and each year I remember to save art to put up for this purpose. Usually it’s not a big deal because our turn comes after our big Potato Bake dinner and we just move all the Mr. Potato Head decorations from the fellowship hall to the cafeteria – done and done.

Not this year. This year we got a different time slot and I totally forgot until we only had two days left to make something.

Panic!

I scavenged some paintings the children had done, and then we went into full-on elf mode. Crank out the art, children! (Well, actually a craft.)

We made some 3-D coffee filter flowers (not my invention). They have maximum impact for minimum effort. You staple 7-8 coffee filters together then paint them. We used liquid watercolors – a marvel of modern paint technology. (In a preschool room, regular in-the-pan watercolors exist for exactly one minute as separate colors, then they are all muddy.)

After they dry you crinkle and crimp (crimple?) the filters, starting with the top one and working your way down.

Pinch the bottom, not the top.

Keep going…..

Keep pinching! Pinch like there's not tomorrow!

Whew.

Staple to the top of a construction paper stem, add some leaves, and we. are. golden.

Magic moving picture ahead:
Coffee filter flowers

10 of Sunday’s minutes

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Happy Birthday to my sister, Keren! Woo-hoo!!

One of the signs of Spring is the scratch-scratch-scratching of Lloyd eating a can of frozen fruit cocktail. It’s been his treat of choice since …… forever, and I think it’s pretty funny because the energy he exerts scraping outweighs the calories in the fruit. It’s like a diet snack.

Well, no more.

Lauren: “Hey, is there another can?”

Lloyd: warily “Yes.”

Lauren: over her shoulder running to the basement “Cool. I gotta go get something.”

Shave and a can of fruit - six bits.

Using the patented tomato paste method.

Note the hastily wiped-off counter.

I got it at a thrift store.

A tasty treat that's good to eat.

I actually wound up smashing a fair amount of the fruit, but the shaved fruit was pronounced delicious and effort-free by Lloyd.