LaurenandLloyd.com

where our wasted time becomes your wasted time

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Behold! The Day of My Birth

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Today I join Lauren in the fourth decade. We are going to celebrate my birthday by celebrating Lauren’s Other Birthday. I’ll be taking her to Omaha where we will probably do the same things we always do in Omaha.

birthday-boy

We’ll go to Nebraska Furniture Mart. This time we’ll no doubt spend a lot of time looking at the stoves. I will count the number of stoves and report back. We will go to Nobbies and look at their crap. We will go to the Casino and spend $20 among the people who don’t look like they are having any fun. We’ll go to the snooty outside mall, but I won’t know why we’re there. If we spend the night, we’ll go see a movie.

Somewhere along the way, something unexpected will happen and I will end up having more fun than Lauren. Feel free to speculate on what that might be.

Good grief.

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So, I caught some sort of bug, which isn’t surprising considering all the sick children I’ve been around lately. Wednesday night I watched t.v. on the couch until I fell asleep, which is actually one of my favorite things to do.

All was well until 1:18.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Stumbling to the kitchen, I had one of those ‘thousand-thoughts-running-through-your-mind-in-two-seconds’ moments. Do we have a fire alarm? Am I cooking something? Is Lloyd cooking something? Did this happen when Kristi was visiting and she was too polite to tell me? I hit ‘cancel’ on the stove panel and went back to the couch.

3:00.

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

What the what? Stumble, stumble, cancel, cancel. I thought about going up to bed, but I was in my jeans and didn’t want to change into pj’s. Lazily, I went back to the couch.

3:43

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Grrrr. Cancel.

3:48

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

I am going to kill someone. By this time I have noticed that ‘F-2’ is flashing on the screen, and now I was WIDE AWAKE enough to google it. It’s a sensor issue. I unplugged the stove and went back to sleep in the blessed beep-free quiet.

I wound up cooking our little turkey in the roaster, but couldn’t rely on my cool digital thermometer to tell me when it was done, because it was in cahoots with the stove and showed wildly fluctuating temperatures – all wrong.

See? It's not cold in here, it's 183 degrees!

Did I mention that I’m sick? Using a roaster and the microwave, I had turkey, stuffing and potatoes ready to eat by lunchtime then shoved it all (uneaten) in the fridge and went back to sleep until 4.

If I feel better tomorrow we’re going stove and thermometer shopping.