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Guarding my future

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I had a dentist appointment today. It’s been a year since my last exam, and last November there was An Incident. I was eating popcorn and a hull got jammed between two molars. It took a while for me to get it all the way out, and it got a little sore. After that, it seemed like I was always getting good stuck in there. I actually would floss just to help it, and it felt funny.

I thought for certain that when I went in today they were going to say that some serious work had to be done, but as it turns out, I’ll be ok. He said that when inflammation happens around the very back molar, the teeth actually separate a little because there isn’t a ‘buddy’ tooth to hold it up. If I can just try to chew on the other side and keep it clean, it might actually re-align. Here’s to hoping.

In other news, he asked me if I grind my teeth at night. I said ‘no’, but that sometimes I snort so loud I frighten myself awake.

It was quiet in the room for a while.

Then he took a magical camera and showed me two spots on my front teeth that proved I grind my teeth. I felt like I was in the final five minutes of a crime drama – caught in a lie! He said they were worn down to the soft dentin, and while it’s not a concern now, in twenty years it might be a problem. “Keep an eye on it and maybe we’ll fit you for a tooth guard sometime.”

Forget that, Dr. Handsome. I got this. When Lloyd needed a mouth guard years ago, he discovered that if you buy them from the sports section instead of the toothpaste aisle, they are substantially cheaper.

Boil, melt, bite, done.

You’re welcome, Future Lauren.

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*sigh* Why does he have to be so handsome?

I am almost that lady.

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Lloyd has choir in Lincoln every Sunday. I love it because it gives me reason to go looking around in stores. Usually I’m just browsing, but occasionally I actually have a mission, which is fun.

There was no mission today. Well, not exactly – I needed big hole punch (later post) , and have been looking for a couple of baskets for school, and also something to hold my salt and pepper grinders. (They fall over when I put them on the blue tray by the stove, and the old corralling system wasn’t working out. See photo:)

not good

My last stop of the day was a little thrift store. I went over to the household goods to see if they had any basket-y items for school, but the aisles were very short and they all had one or two people in them, blocking the way. I stood around a little bit and people would shuffle around, but not in the one aisle where I really wanted to look. There were two college kids – the girl in her boho jacket, skinny jeans and *sigh* boots and the boy in his knit beanie and chunky glasses – each standing like statues and typing on their iPhones. I circled their aisle a couple of times and thought about saying something, then circled the last time and aaalllllllmost said, “Move it along, hipsters! Old lady browsing here!” but they came out of their screen comas and walked away.

I deeply, deeply regret not saying it. I can see myself being that lady – the crazy nut who scolds whippersnappers – but it would only be funny to me.

Anyway, guess what I found?!?!

wood cut

And it’s perfect!!!

salt and pepper secured

Woo-hoo! Take that, hipsters!

just perfect

Bulletless Blender

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Lloyd really wants a Magic Bullet. Ever since he got to play with Beth’s at her Dinner in a Bullet party, he has been smitten. He doesn’t want one that’s new, though, he wants to get a used one at a super price like she did. I think he has a bit of Amazing Cheap Find envy.

I have been looking. Once at Bed Bath and Beyond they were selling a display model, but I foolishly didn’t get it because they didn’t have the extra stuff. A couple of weeks later in the ShopKo clearance area they had all the stuff, but no Bullet. Stupid, stupid me.

Oh, well. I’m still looking off and on. Craigslist seems to be the next best thing, and it’s always fun to have a quest, right?

Long ago I replaced our wonderful old thrift-store blender with a gadgety, fold-up one, and that was a huge mistake. The new blender was weak and terrible, but the old one was at school, with paper scraps permanently adhered to it because I never bothered to clean it out thoroughly after we made paper. I’d just rinse it and put it in the cupboard for next time.

Let's clean it up.

Well, today I went and got it back. I cleaned it all up, and used the wonderful feature of attaching a mason jar to it to make a smoothie. Lloyd was happy, but he still wants his Bullet.

No alcohol was used in this endeavor.

It was just frozen peach and nectar stuff. This was Beth’s cool tip – just put whole peaches in the freezer! I wrapped ours up in Glad Press-N-Seal, and now Lloyd can have ten more half-peach-non-Magic-Bullet smoothies. You just rinse them under hot water and the skin comes right off. Warning: They are incredibly dangerous to cut while frozen. Very, very rolly and slippery.

Look at that frozen goodness.

Worth it, though.

Ready to go.

A hand-warming deal

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On Sunday, Lloyd and I walked around ShopKo after he was done with choir. I told him that we were just going to check the clearance areas, but I forgot what that does to his system. He was pretty gung-ho to go looking. We scanned some kitchen stuff, some electronic stuff, but when we got to the Christmas section, he was commenting on how cheap the candy was.

“How much is this stuff regularly?” he asked.

“It’s all 90% off,” I replied.

His pupils dilated and I could hear his pulse quicken. We managed to leave the aisle with only $12 worth of giant candy canes as treats for his math kids.

Elsewhere in the clearance areas, we found something for me! Have you seen these? They are reusable hand warmers.

The pouch is filled with a liquid and a little disk. You ‘snap’ the disk inside, and that starts a chain reaction.

The camera focused on the couch fabric.

It spreads….

It happens so fast - it's hard to get a photo.

…. and spreads….

Almost there....

…. and spreads!

Done!

As it does so, it releases heat. You have a nice little warm thing to hold onto for several minutes. Before you use it again, you just boil it up and it resets the liquid. Crazy, huh?

Oily Scmoily

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Several years ago I discovered the magical properties of lotion. Up until then, I’d just hop out of the shower, dry and dress and go about my day, leaving a trail of skin flakes that guided me home at the end of the day like a disgusting Hansel and Gretel story. (Too vivid? Sorry.) Then I tried lotion, and was amazed at how much less like lizard skin my skin appeared! Who’da thunk it?

Around that time I also cleaned my glasses, and looking in the mirror I could suddenly see that the skin around my eyes was turning into crepe paper! I cursed my newly-discovered wrinkles, and purchased a face lotion that promised to restore my crinkly skin to baby-smoothness. (I only used half-doses, though, because I didn’t want fat baby eyes.)

And then there were my elbows. The ones that had such dry, scaly, weird bumps that they made my dermatologist think I had scabies. (I didn’t, and he was an idiot. Those bumps come back every winter.) I showed them to my regular, non-idiot doctor and he prescribed a cream with steroids to calm my troubled elbows. There there, elbows.

And then….. I tried olive oil.

So many olives had to die to make my skin soft. *sniff*

Yep, the stuff you cook with. I’ve been using it instead of all those lotions for about a month now and I am deeming this experiment a success. Straight out of the shower I pour a little in my hand and slather my legs and elbows, then pat my face with the residue left on my hands. While it hasn’t given me baby eyes – my face doesn’t feel wintery-dry-itchy, my legs aren’t shedding, and my elbows are completely non-scabby!

It soaks in rather quickly and since it’s not the extra-virgin kind, I don’t think I smell like salad dressing, but then again – my nose isn’t the best smeller. Even if I do, I think I’m sticking with it because this stuff is cheeeeeeeeap! Win!

Less is more

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You might remember a few months ago that I sort of dropped my iPhone a little. I wasn’t worried, because I had purchased insurance for it. But I wasn’t in any hurry to be without it for a couple of weeks and the deductable was $50.00, so I just lived with it.

poor little iPhone4

I really wanted to get a wooden back. Lauren even thought it would be cool, so I looked for a place that I could order one. Unfortunately, the one place I found a nice walnut back didn’t ship to our zip-code (I know, what’s up with that?).

I did find a nice one for $16.38. It took all of three days to make it to our zip-code. It came with instructions and a screwdriver. It was easy to take the back off, and I looked around a bit.

Mostly battery and screen

But what is that stuff around the camera?

hair today, gone tomorrow

This calls for a closer look. Note: this is the first time that I have been glad that Lauren likes to have a microscope around the house.

not what I expected

There were lots of little hairs, and they were only present around the camera assembly. I wondered for a bit if they were Steve Jobs’ hairs that were put into iPhones so that he could one day be cloned, but decided they were not quite the right color.

So I got out a little brush and a tweezer and began the removal process.

there were more than I expected

Once the hair was removed, it was quite easy to put the new back on.

it makes me feel rich

Tomorrow I’ll be convincing 7th graders that I’m testing a prototype for the new iPhone5 for Apple.