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I spent most of the day asleep due to the powerful effects of Chlorpheniramine Maleate and Phnylephrine, so nothing interesting happened on my end. What did you do with your Wednesday?

Happy Birthday, Jesus!

Christmas is nearly here, and I’ve actually felt a little festive this year, especially at work.

The thing I like best about my job is that the bar for art is set pretty low. Where else can you work with some kids to make a tree out of masking tape and all who see it ooh and ahh?

Or construction paper trees? Ho ho ho – Merry Christmas!

I do recall a craft from elementary school that caused me some shame. We glued dried beads all around an eggshell then dipped it in wax. I remember just hating how it turned out, and how each Christmas afterwards there was a special sort of agony I went through, begging my parents to throw it away.

A story of buying a toy:

My kids like to play with the old, real phones in the housekeeping area and also at our writing table (‘the office’, as they call it). The problem is that they holler at each other from across the room when they ‘talk’ and I just can’t afford to lose any more tooth enamel from the grinding.

I started thinking about the toy wired telephones from my youth that were both magical and horribly dissappointing. Then I wondered, ‘Surely in this day and age of cell phones somebody has invented toy phones that are wireless.’ Sure enough, one obscure company has!

So, I ordered a set. I justified myself by saying that they would help the children learn proper telephone manners and also help the shy kids learn to speak up, but really – I just wanted to play with them.

Guess when they arrived? When Lloyd was in Missouri visiting his parents. I was so excited to try them out!!!! With….. no one…..

(In jump rope chant rhythm, slowly. Lloyd didn’t get it, so I’ve bolded the words on the beat.)

(Jump jump jump jump)
One. Two. Three. Six.
Four more numbers join the mix.
Seven.Fourteen. Twenty-One
Factors are such mathy fun
End the string with Forty-Two.
Watch the birthday girl boo-hoo.
It’s your turn to write a line.
Doesn’t even have to rhyme.
(jump jump jump jump)

…. I control my little world.

(Our internet keeps going out, so if you read this and there is only a half-written post, it’s because it died while I was writing. I’m hitting ‘update’ after each sentence.)

Tonight I sat on my stool and refilled a prescription from my phone, ordered photos from my computer, and then filled out an online order for pizza. The world is doing such a great job encouraging my laziness.

It wasn’t all smooth sailing, though. I ordered my pizza before I started to upload my photos, then as they uploaded the connection crashed. I got very flustered and re-uploaded all 29 photos and wound up with many, many extra pictures. Stupid time crunch!

I told Lloyd I was getting mad.

Lloyd: “You know how to tell if Lauren is mad?”
Lauren (glowering): “She’s awake?”
Lloyd: “She has a pulse.”